Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits



Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World, Hank vs Nap Time

Tass: Wandering out into the woods with his cigar lit, Hank was left with a number of options. The woods immediately around Acheron were kept clear by the guards, but they didn't always scavenge their kills, and he might run into other scavengers along the way. Wandering a little deeper would put him into territory inhabited by numerous wild creatures who'd been corrupted during the battle against the demons four years ago, and going deeper still would put him into the wilds in which he might find anything.

MAF: "Mama probably woulda told me to broaden my horizons if she didn't equate me to demon spawn." Hank said aloud, looking out into the woods. "Hell, there might even be somethin' good out there... Like money, or booze..." he grunted. "Or titties." he chuckled, before deciding to walk a straight line out into the wilderness.

Tass: Wandering towards the deepest depths of the woods without any real aim, Hank walked into a large glade containing a single, massive dead tree. Its bark was pitch black, and there were numerous holes scored into its bark, some of which looked large enough for him to have walked into, though they were really just cubbies. The ground around it was all dead and empty, and there didn't seem to be anything here at the moment, leaving him to move on unless he wanted to take a closer look at something.

MAF: "Guess the planet sometimes gets cancer too." Hank grunted at the sight. Looking around, Hank figured that, for as significant as this was, the major event had come and gone. Still, there might be something after all, so he decided to have a walk around, a firm eye on the tree, but also looking for anything that might lead to goodies.

Tass: Circling the glade, Hank didn't spot anything of particular value at first, but after a moment a red glint caught his eye. Parting some bushes, he found the desicated remains of a feral stalker, a cat-like plant monster. Its body had been ignored by scavengers, likely because of the darkheart that he could see glinting from within its body. It would be easy to yank the thing free and claim it for himself.

MAF: "Well shit, don't mind if I do." Hank said merrily, showing no reaction to the gore as he stepped forth to dig his hand into the flesh and take the heart.

Tass: Claiming the small glowing crimson stone, Hank pocketed it, and could continue searching the glade or move on.

MAF: "It's been naggin' at me..." Hank grumbled, looking back at the tree, too curious for his own good, and also excited to see. So, he decided to cautiously move forth, towards one of the openings in the tree.

Tass: Moving closer to the tree, Hank spotted no movement from the dead tree, and after a few moments of looking into one of the carved out sections of the tree he spotted a faint red glow.

MAF: "That damn allurin' glow..." Hank grumbled. He took a heavy puff of his cigar to see if the burning would show some of his surroundings. Else, he'd light a match to better examine his surroundings, and to keep his cigar burning of course.

Tass: Pushing the illuminating light of his cigar into the hollow in the tree, Hank could see through a crack that there was something red inside of the tree.

MAF: With a grunt, he decided being anymore careful would be a waste of time, before he eagerly went forth, marching with Destiny in hand for the red glow, hoping to claim the possible treasure.

Tass: There was a crack inside of the hollow, through which Hank could see red. He'd have to figure out a way to split the wood open if he wanted to get at whatever it was, however.

MAF: "Hmph," he grunted, before aiming his boomer barrel at the crack, aiming to blow a hole in the tree to clear a path to the red glow.

Tass: Boom! That portion of the tree exploded, shattering outwards and bombarding Hank with rotten splinters of wood. When the smoke cleared, he could see the remnants of a large red stone, now shattered by the blast from the strongest barrel of Destiny. (Hank has acquired a destroyed darkbrain. Effectively three darkhearts.)

MAF: "Shit. There goes market value." Hank shrugged, not too bothered as he collected the remains.

Tass: Hank collected the remnants of the destroyed treasure, and was then free to do as he liked, either to continue on or to go back to Acheron. He hadn't gotten to kill anything yet though.

MAF: "I'm startin' to get fuckin' bored." Hank voiced aloud. "What the hell is killin' things before I have a chance to kill em? Population control's my duty, ya bastards." he complained as he looked for prey on the way back to Acheron.

Tass: Hank found no prey on his way back to Acheron, and the city walls were within sight shortly.

MAF: Hank stopped. Hank looked at the city walls. Hank looked at the lack of things to murder. Before the guards, he suddenly screamed aloud. "I'M FUCKIN' BOOOORED"

Tass: A few guards looked his way when Hank shouted about being bored, but most of them went back to their business immediately while the nearest called out; "Then come in and get drunk!"

MAF: "I did that last fuckin' time and I was robbed by a giant pair of titties! I ain't got no beer money!"

Tass: "Well then get a job!"

MAF: "KILLIN'S MY BUSINESS AND BUSINESS AIN'T FUCKIN' GOOD! Show some fuckin' respect to the murder economy!"

Tass: "Then go find something to kill yah bum!"

MAF: "How 'bout I kill you!?"

Tass: "How bout you go fuck off into the woods instead, and not get picked apart by a dozen snipers when you try to raise a weapon at me?"

MAF: "You want a piece of me you little shit!? Come on down and say that to my face, mano el mano! Yeah, that's what I thought! Pussy!"

Tass: "Piss off yah wanker, I'm on duty!"

MAF: "What a convenient excuse! What next? You'll have a tummy ache? Momma's callin'!? Crawl back in the pussy you were shat out of, you're too green!"

Tass: "Still on duty pissant! Keep shouting at me, go ahead. I'll wait until I'm off duty, and then I'll shoot you in the nuts from up here."

MAF: "You couldn't hit a pickle in a pickle barrel, scrub!"

Tass: "You wanna bet your life on that?"

MAF: "I bet I can outshoot you, bitch!"

Tass: "Then sit there for the next six hours."

MAF: "Six hours!? God damn you are a bitch. Don't break the rules, timmy! Or else you won't go to heavan!"

Tass: "Some of us take our responsibilities seriously. We who have them, presumably unlike you!"

MAF: "One of these days, I'm gonna shit on your face while you're sleepin. I hope you don't sleep with your mouth open!"

Tass: "Uh huh, sure buddy."

MAF: Hank let out a sigh. "That was fun." he said to himself, before walking towards the town. "But I'm bored again... Shit."

Tass: Hank was allowed entrance back into Acheron without having killed anything.


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World, Hank vs Goblins round 1

Tass: And so Hank entered into Acheron once more, free to do as he liked following his exchange with the guardsman.

MAF: Back to this place. There was a certain monotony to it all. Go out, murder, come back, collect the bounty, rinse and repeat. Everything but the murder part was starting to wear on Hank slightly. As he walked into the town, he began to wonder how making murder his job seemed to make it seem less fun altogether. As he carried Destiny in his right hand, he used his left to take a cigar and light it all the same. He took one puff, before he reached his conclusion. "I need to make killin' as fun as it used to be." he said aloud, with a surprisingly lonely tone of voice. It was truely lonely indeed. If he didn't have all these people that needed killing, Hank would have no one to spend time with. A peaceful land was something terrifying. At least he and the scum he soaks in the blood of have a lot in common with him, a mutual interest in murdering each other. But even that itself didn't last as long as he'd like. He wondered what the solution would be, what would make him feel truly happy.
Scratching the back of his head, he drew no conclusion. Thinking wasn't his strong point, so he decided to head back to the little hub that the dark angel had set up, and see how Peggy was doing.

Tass: Returning to the office, how dreadful a word, Hank found not Peggy, but the witch. And her incredibly offensive hat. "Find anything interesting to suck up your time, sweetheart?" she intoned brightly, tipping the offending piece of headgear in his direction and grinning at him. "I've got a fun one for you if you're interested, local work too! Hope you don't mind goblin blood either."

MAF: Killing her hat would be fun, for sure. "I ain't your sweetheart, hatter." Hank spat, before taking another drag of his cigar. "What needs killing?"

Tass: "Sure sure cupcake~ Bunch of goblins, whole gang of 'em. 47th and Pickle Street, a big apartment building. The city wants it cleared out, and they've hired us to do it. You in?"

MAF: It all sounded good. Building full of goblins. Kill them all. He liked it, until that one part. "... Us?"

Tass: "Us. The organization got the contract, and the boss thinks it's a two person job. So you want in, I'm going in with you~"

MAF: The way she seemed to announce that she was coming with him made Hank's brow visibly twitch, and not in a good way. He didn't realize how annoyed he was that he'd have her with him, until he bit through the portion of cigar in his mouth. The fatter half fell, before he caught it in his hand, by the burning part. It sizzled against his palm before he crushed it with his fingers, and then he spat out the rest of the cigar in his mouth. He didn't even reply, simply hoisting his gun over his shoulder, and looking to a map if on the wall, else pulling out his own, and looking for the way to go to reach that building, and simply heading out. If he was lucky, she'd think he didn't want to go and he wouldn't have to be near her.

Tass: The witch watched Hank's display with a grin that just seemed to keep getting wider and wider the angrier he got, her eyebrows quirked up curiously. The intersection took some finding on the map, during which she also watched him. Unfortunately, after walking out, it wasn't long before the busty woman was striding along beside him, offending hat on her head and broom hanging over her shoulder. "So, looking forward to working together again, cupcake?"

MAF: Hank visibly gave a start when she spoke up behind him. He was walking so fast that he hadn't heard her stepping behind him. Damn this hatter to the deepest depths of hell and onto the fattest demonic cock in there. "Fucking livid," he responded bluntly.

Tass: "Oh really?" she said lightly, her smile not faltering in the slightest, "So you'd rather I not be along, hrm?"

MAF: "Where did you get that impression, I wonder." Hank grumbled.
Tass: "Oh, just an intuition I had~" she said airily, rolling her eyes as the walked side by side down the street. "Well, since you're such a big strong man.... How would you like to make a bet, cupcake? One that'll keep me out of your hair for the duration of this little joint venture of ours."

MAF: "All in." Hank replied bluntly once more once she made the offer of being out of his hair.
He was never a good gambling man, because he always went 'all in'

Tass: "Oh? You haven't even heard my offer yet!" she said mirthfully, before continuing in a more frank tone; "Here's the bet... I don't think you can do it all by your big bad self, and I'm willing to let you try and prove me wrong. I'll just wait outside until you get back. I'll only come up after it seems like you're obviously down. You fuck up, you have to be civil to me.... For an entire month~ To Peggy too! That means manners and keeping your paws to yourself unless invited. You manage to pull it off, and... Well, that's your choice sweetheart~"

MAF: The thought of being respectful to that witch made bile come up into Hank's mouth. However, he could just endure it in short bursts or ignore her entirely, so he saw that the chips on the table were mostly his own, leaving the witch's bet quite small. "Deal," he said only after swallowing the bit of nasty fluid back into his stomach.

Tass: "You haven't even said what you want if you win yet!" she protested lightly, smirking and rolling her eyes again. They'd gotten most of the way there by now, leaving Acheron's more crowded streets and entering the practically abandoned sections.

MAF: "I want the right to shoot and destroy any hat you wear, for as long as I see fit."

Tass: "Lets make it month, for fairness' sake. Though, knowing your appetites that's a surprisingly low wager! You must REALLY hate my hat."
MAF: "As you are, I want nothing else."

Tass: She took off the hat.
"How bout now?" the curvy redhead asked inquisitively.

MAF: The hat was removed, but it was merely like trying to hide a disease. The hat would make it's return and bring it's blight upon the world with it. "... My conditions haven't changed." he said, of course after being distracted by her sexy figure, which he all but ignored in light of her hat.

Tass: "Wow, that's impressive willpower." she said, redonning the offending headgear as they made their way to the corner. Though these areas of Acheron were reputably dangerous, Hank and the witch went unmolested through the streets and eventually arrived at the corner. The building was easy to pick out from the four, the others being a demolished shop, an abandoned eatery, and a small house that was in surprisingly good shape. The apartment building was five floors tall, and purportedly infested with goblins. The bottom floor windows had been boarded up, and the front door looked reinforced, but the gate into the yard in back was open.

MAF: Hank didn't reply to the compliment on his willpower. Instead, he remained silent as they came to the apartment building. His silence wouldn't last long however, as he walked straight up to the reinforced door. Only a single click sound would follow before his boomer barrel unleashed it's fury, blowing against the front door. "Knock-knock." said Hank.

Tass: In the reinforced door exploded with a thunderous boom, followed by some scrambling from adjacent rooms and then silence. "Definitely you!" the witch said, hopping onto her broom and floating up to the roof of the abandoned shop, leaving Hank to do as he pleased in the apartment complex. Up ahead was a door, a stairway leading up on the left, and an opened door on the right hand wall.

MAF: With a steady pace, Hank began to walk forward as he put a cigar to his lips, and lit it. Once he was comfortable with his new cigar, he walked inside and held his gun steady, his double barrels ready to fire and blast any goblin to bits that he saw while scanning the whole room.

Tass: Entering the apartment building's entrance hallway, Hank found that he'd already seen all of the room that there was to see. His new position allowed him to see the room through the right-hand door, however, giving him a view of some shabby, filthy bedding that looked to have been fairly recently occupied. There was a single goblin inside, his eyes wide and bloodshot, and his sparse flesh clinging to his bones. He seemed to be sitting on a mattress and leaning against a wall, naked save for a loincloth, and making no move save for the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. There was a wide doorway on the left hand side of the room, from which light was filtering into the room in addition to what made it through the boarded up windows.

MAF: When Hank saw the goblin, his wicked gaze immediately fixed on the small green creature. Holding his gun tight in his hand, he didn't make any stiff motions. He carried with him Destiny's grace, and as such, he was ready to turn on a dime and blast away any little bugger that came his way, so long as he heard it coming. If nothing bothered him, he would proceed towards the goblin with bloodshot eyes with steady feet, walking towards the goblin as if it was so casual to him, before he lifted his gun and pointed it to the goblin's head. Hank didn't appreciate killing things that didn't fight back, so he gave that little goblin one second.
One second.

Tass: "Huh?" the goblin said, turning and looking dazedly up at Hank.

MAF: "God damn yer slow." Hank sighed, before snapping the hilt of his gun over the goblin's head to knock him out. If nothing bothered him after that, Hank would take the goblin by his legs and throw him out of the building from the nearest opening, like trash. His reasoning was that he didn't want to waste a bullet on something as pathetic as that. Constantly, he was waiting for the retaliation. Then, he would slaughter them. If nothing bothered him further, he'd explore the first floor, ensuring it was clear, before walking with a steady step up those stairs, a trained eye carefully looking for a target.

Tass: The goblin's head snapped back, his eyes rolling close as Hank knocked him and then dragged/hurled his wasted ass out the door. It all took about a minute, and went without interruption from any other forces. Heading to the left from where he'd found the lesser demon, he entered what might have originally been called a kitchen but was now decidedly a drug lab, the hastily assembled chemistry equipment there for no other clear purpose. Stepping inside, he almost tripped a wire that he found was attached to some scratch-built explosive device. One that was covered in nails. Stepping over the wire, he entered the next room through a half-opened door, entering a small pantry, where he found two goblins, one male and one female. "Shit!" the male one said, drawing a knife, and the female quickly picked up a brick and followed suit. He had plenty of time to react, however.

MAF: Hank would peek his head into the Pantry before announcing, "Here's Johnny!" with a deep laugh and a wicked grin, throwing the door open and aiming to blast the goblin with the knife, and then focusing on the goblin with the brick. If she attacked, he'd blow her away too.

Tass: Hank squarely blew away the knife wielding goblin, splattering his brains over the back wall of the pantry and shattering a glass jar. The female goblin took that opportunity to run up and crack the brick she'd grabbed against his knee painfully, but a stumbling backstep allowed him to maneuver Destiny into position and administer the same fat. (Hank has taken 15 damage and killed 2 goblins)

MAF: "Ow, my shin." Hank grumbled at the corpse of the female goblin. With the two goblins properly murdered, he'd take out his knife and take whatever valuable part of their bodies he saw, likely their hearts, and pocket them, as well as any other items they had.

Tass: Goblin hearts were only in demand in the amazon, which was far away. Their teeth were what he was looking for around here, and those he took and pocketed. He could strip them, though their rags likely weren't worth much, and the male goblin's improvised dagger was the only real weapon between them.
(Hank gains 2x goblin's teeth.)
(Also known as Monster's Fangs)

MAF: Pocketing the teeth, Hank stood and clicked Destiny open. It always filled him with a little perverse joy to handle Destiny in this way, to see her parts normally hidden. She always exposed herself to him without any shame in doing so. She was a hard girl and did the job as it needed to be done. Loading another round into her, he pet one hand along her in appreciation of her splendor, before looking to search about for more goblins, again looking to the stairs if he found no more.

Tass: Reloading his gun's shotgun barrels, Hank stepped through one door to find himself in the back yard, which was full of scrabbly grass, a shorn weed sitting in the back, and nothing. Past it was a small hallway leading into a set of stairs that led down, next to a door that took him back out into the entrance hall. Now he could either go up or down, at his choice.

MAF: Hank shrugged at the back yard. Nothing special here. He'd walk out, blast the shorn weed if it decided it wanted to mess with him, and head towards the stairs leading down, always steady, always ready to fire.

Tass: The shorn weed left him alone, he not being suitable to it, and then he went down into the basement. It was dark and dank, with a stone floor, and the initial area was more like a warren than anything else. The floor was covered in trash, and rats scurried away as his boots touched the floor. Again nothing tried to ambush him, and he went looking around to find a door leading into the most filthy bathroom he'd ever seen on the right, and that the basement curled around on the left, heading off into total darkness.

MAF: The rats seemed at peace until he came in. That must mean that nothing ran down here upon his arrival, else the little critters would have already ran off to hide. Nothing but idle curiosity appealed to Hank in regards to the darkness to the left. Just for the hell of it, using his match as a light while holding his gun, he would step forth into the dark, just to look around.
But, his eyes seemed to adapt well to the dark, like they never had before. Perks of corrupted pussy, he supposed.

Tass: Stepping forth, Hank would find the room curving to the left again, where a stack of rotting crates appeared to partially block his passage. He spotted nothing of note about or in them, and so pushed on, finding that there was another turn to the left a ways ahead, where he found a lot of pipes and the bones of a humanoid figure. There was nothing of note left of them, the rats having got to the body for a long while, save for a small tarnished pendant with a violet stone set into it, a crest barely visible worked into the metal.

MAF: "Shiny." Hank commented when he saw the pendant. "You mind?" he asked the skeleton, before gripping it's skull in his hand and moving it's jaw with his thumb. "S'allright." he spoke for the skeleton, before taking the pendant from it. "Too kind, the dead are." he chuckled, before looking if there was more to the underground. If not, he'd casually step back to explore more of the upper levels of the apartment.

Tass: (Hank gains Delethro Family Amulet) There didn't seem to be anything more to this section of the basement, and so Hank headed upstairs, and then upstairs again, the whole experience fairly unpleasant on his banged knee. Stepping onto the landing of the second floor, there was a hallway that ran ahead and onto it with two doors on the right and some broken windows on the left, and more stairs leading up to the third floor. He could hear movement and voices from the closer door.

MAF: He twisted his lips at the pain in his knee, but ignored it mostly. Stepping up to the closer door, he knocked on it. "House keeping." he announced simply.

Tass: The voices and movement inside silenced immediately, resulting in silence.

MAF: After the door wasn't answered, Hank lifted his boot and smashed it against the door, before pointing his gun straight, looking to shoot whatever rushed out at him.

Tass: Smashing the door open, Hank was greeted by a goblin.....
Who's head he promptly blew off, just like the last one. Inside were three more goblins, one female sitting in the corner, obviously frightened out of her wits and unarmed, another in the back thumbing bullets into a rifle, and a third right near the door with a rusty short sword.

MAF: Hank would focus on the goblin with the short sword first. (Deadly Aim, +10 to attack/damage, -10 dodge)
Using his bolt barrel

Tass: His deadeye and careful aim more than made up for the close quarters, and the sword-wielding goblin was stuck to the back wall with a bolt through his eye, pinning him there, before he'd even gotten a swing off. The other quickly leveled the rifle and fired....
The bullet passed through Hank's left calf, ripping through skin and flesh but really only grazing him. The creature cracked open the single shot rifle with desperate fear in its eyes, evidently more than a little frightened at the prospect that his shot hadn't killed Hank.

MAF: Hank didn't even flinch at the shot, he only lifted his gun and pointed his double barrels at the goblin with a stern look on his face. "Put the gun down, bitch. You can't even shoot right with it." he said. If the goblin didn't comply, he'd blast it. If he did, he'd step over and bump the goblin over the head with Destiny to knock him out, far too much of a cowardly expression on his face to be worth killing. Once knocked out, he would get promptly tossed out of the window... Dead or knocked out, Hank would turn to the cowering female, and grin. "I'm clearin' this place out. You ain't worth killin..." and if the goblin was attractive in some way or another, he'd grin further. "But you might be worth fuckin'."

Tass: The goblin froze, without putting the gun down, and if Hank took a step closer he'd close the breach and take aim, prompting Hank to paint the walls of the dilapidated apartment red with his blood and brain matter. The female goblin, in turn, cowered before him, proving to have a thin physique with a few very modest curves in appropriate places. Whether that was enough to earn the man's interest was his decision, but the rag-clad goblin whimpered pathetically and said; "P... Please! Squin not want to die! She do anything human wants, just... Please no shoot!"

MAF: "I ain't gonna kill anythin' weak. There's a different job for that." he said to her. "I ain't much into rape either, so get out of this apartment, and if yer up for it..." he went ahead and told her where he was staying, offering her creature comforts, and sex, if she came, before gesturing with his gun. "Now get out, and expect to die if ya try somethin."

Tass: The goblin took off quickly at his indication, fleeing as if for her life down the stairs without saying another word or indicating one way or another if she was interested in his offer.

MAF: Hank didn't give much reaction either. Probably wouldn't see her, probably. But if she did show, well, then he'd have another fun night. With that thought in mind, he chuckled, and went out of the room, before looking to the next door, and kicking it down in the same manner, after reloading his gun in the process of walking around.

Tass: Reloading the one bolt and the one shell he'd fired, Hank kicked in the next door to find a pair of goblins cowering in there, trying and failing miserably to pretend that they were asleep. Both jumped up as they realized their failure, brandishing a shiv and a rusty hatchet at him and advancing toward the door.

MAF: While backing up, Hank hoped to blast one away with his main barrel while hoping to avoid getting in range of either hatchet or shiv, whichever the furthest had, before blasting away the other. "Why the fuck would you think sleepin' would make me not wanna shoot you!?"

Tass: "Fuck you du-" *BLAM* one goblin, the one with the shiv said, before the one with the hatchet followed after Hank and swung. Despite being covered in gore, Hank's backpeddaling had gotten him out of the way, and he got his second shot off before the goblin had managed to dig his axe out of the wood. Two more dead to go.

MAF: Hank went about collecting the goodies from the goblins mouths, since he remembered to do so. They'd at least sell well if nothing else. Four sets of teeth, if he counted right. Once he got their teeth, he'd search both rooms while he was at it for goodies, and then head to the next floor. "God damn stairs..."

Tass: Four teeth were gained, as well as the fruits of searching the rooms, a blood red gem that he would recognize as a darkheart, a pair of bottles of blue syrup he'd recognize as untreated shorn syrup, a sack of coins containing twenty two denarii, a dagger that was in fairly decent shape, a book about alchemy, and a package containing a strange white powder that was too thick to be sugar or salt, or any substance that Hank was immediately familiar with.
This hall curved around, producing another hall on the opposite side that he hadn't yet explored, but he could go upstairs now if he wished to do so.
Last edited:


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World, Hank vs Goblins round 1 part 2

MAF: And so he went upstairs, "Damn stairs..." he cursed as he put all of the items he found into his pouch.

Tass: Upstairs, Hank would find another pair of rooms, and another curved hallway with undoubtadly more rooms, like the ones he hadn't checked on the last floor. These were silent, but whether that meant anything was uncertain.

MAF: The monotony of it all was starting to reach him once again. Rather than grumble or complain, he'd go about busting down doors one by one. If hostile goblins were there, he'd kill them. The weak ones, he'd toss out of the window.

Tass: The goblins in the first room were ready for him. The moment he kicked down the door, no less than three guns immediately went off at point blank range.....
....All of which missed, to the astonishment of their goblin wielders. Unperturbed, the three male goblins thumbed the actions on the revolvers they clutched, the weapons appearing too large for their comparatively tiny hands.

MAF: Hank would fire off one round of his double barrel before spinning back and taking cover behind the wall. From there he'd peek his gun out and fire bolts at the goblins while peeking out himself so as to take cover from their shots.

Tass: The gunfight was over quickly after Hank blew the first goblin's head off, quickly taking cover and avoiding their return shots. The two goblins had no cover to take, and thus couldn't do anything but stand there and shoot, which they did to little effect. All too soon the two were nailed to the wall, leaving him once more victorious.

MAF: Hank would sigh after they were both dead, and reloaded his weapon before collecting their teeth. "99 corpses of goblins on the wall, ninty nine corpses of gobs... Shoot one down, kick it around, 98 corpses of gobs..." he sang before he finished and took the time and meditate over loading his big boomer. Once his biggest gun was complete, he went to the next room and kicked it open all the same.

Tass: Hank would be interrupted in reloading the boomer barrel, two more goblins, both female rushing into the room when his gun was fully taken apart....
Both tried to tackle him, but one managed to trip over the musty bed and ended up sprawled on the floor. The other, however, leaped at him and grabbed him about the waist. "Hold him down! Beat on him! Before he can get that damn thing!" she shouted quickly, and her companion rushed to do just that, though Hank had a moment to act first.

MAF: Hank was surprised at the sudden ambush, before he chuckled as he was grabbed. "You wanna wrestle?" he inquired, before looking to get around the goblin so as to lock his arm around her neck, and choke her into submission. (basically non-lethal damage in grapple, unarmed stuffs)

Tass: "Gahck!" the goblin said as she was dragged up into a chokehold. The other one quickly jumped onto his back and started trying to pull his arms off, but even with the two of them Hank was stronger, his arm wrapped around the goblin girl's throat. Her struggles grew increasingly feeble until, after a few moments, she passed out in his grasp, and the other goblin jumped off his back and went into the corner. "Uhhh...." she stuttered, holding up her hands in an apparent attempt at surrender. She glanced at him, and then glanced down at her fairly ample (for her race anyway) bosom, and then back at him. "To the victor... Go the spoils?" she said hopefully, reaching down and tugging her rags up to expose her chest, her nipples a darker shade of green than the rest of her.

MAF: After making the goblin pass out, Hank looked to the other with a grin as she removed her top. He set the other goblin down gently, before approaching the one who exposed her chest. "I unfortunately still got more work to do." he said. "Here to clean up, ya see. It's just a job, but so long as you scram out of here, I won't have tah blast ya to bits." he said while reassembling his gun, making sure it was fully loaded. "Not to say I ain't interested. Come to my place, and I'll take care of ya~" he said with a grin. He'd let her go one way or another, but hoo boy it'd be nice having a bunch of little green sluts in his company to fuck after a hard day of work, as well as a snake lady.

Tass: "Uhhhh.... Sure! If you've got a place for me tah stay at. I'd be happy ter give yer dick a ride for me keep, Sharia too! That's the one you choked out by the way... I'm Nelin. Also, there's an ambush ready for you around the corner, but you can get around them through the next room. The wall's weak in a spot."

MAF: Hank reached forward, and decided to enjoy himself for just a moment. He took her by around her back and gave the little goblin a rough and sloppy kiss, before letting her go. "Thanks," he said, before pinching her butt and sending her off to carry her friend out. Taking her advice, he went to carefully inspect the next room. She might be lying, so he still had to be careful.

Hank: 30 damage

Let Toteck the goblin druggy live. Currently outside unconscious.

Let Squin the goblin prostitute live. Currently possibly outside.

Let Nelin and Shallia live, goblin sluts/scrappers. Currently outside.
Last edited:


Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World, Hank vs Goblins round 1 part 3

Tass: Giving a surprised squeak, the goblin quickly melted into the kiss, letting Hank's tongue explore her mouth and hands explore her body as much as he liked. Nelin had a round, bouncy butt that was pleasantly soft to the touch, and she giggled slightly as he pinched it and sent her on her way. After redonning her top and hoisting her friend, Sharia allegedly, she glanced back just as she was at the door and said; "Yah sure yah dun want a suck or fuck afore I go? I'd hate to just have whatever Shansiel leaves after she's done with yah, ifn' yah don't manage ter beat her." If Hank's answer was in the negative, she'd answer any further questions he had before heading off, leaving him to check the next apartment, which would prove to be empty and contain a number of cracks in the wall, suggesting that it would be easy for him to smash through if he wanted to.

MAF: Hank chuckled. "Ya sure are a lovable little green gal," he said with a wink, "But no, darlin. I'll come back and I'll have plenty to give both your lips." he said crudely. Once she was out, Hank went to where she said there was a weak spot. Making sure his gun was fully loaded, he'd blast his big boomer through the weak spot. "Here's Johnny! No, wait," Hank hesitated. "I already did that... Knock-knoc... No, I did that too..." he hummed for a moment after his cannon fired. "... Here I am, rock you like a hurricane."

Tass: Smashing down the wall, Hank found the next (now dust coated room) empty as well, but scrambling movement was heard from the surrounding hallway and room. He was left with the choice to wait there or go forth and see what was causing it.

MAF: Loading up his double barrels to fire at anything moving too quick, Hank charged forward with a bloodthirsty grin, while a certain tune he never heard before played in his head. ( )

Tass: Striding forth covered in soot, Hank stepped out into the hall to find it crowded with goblins, five of them coming from his left and another three running off to his right, having come from the adjoining room. The ones to his right were two females and one male, while the ones to his left that had seemingly been coming from the ambush planned against him were three male and two female. The ones to his left were unarmed, and intent on fleeing, probably to one of the other two doors in the hall considering he was blocking two, the one he'd exited and the one directly across from it. The ones to his right were armed with a rifle, a pistol, a broken bottle, a brick, and a shabby looking knife respectively, with both guns being in the hands of male goblins.
Hank was free to pick where his first and second shot went, the goblins all surprised by his appearances.

MAF: Hank would try to use cover again to his advantage. Firing his double barrels at the goblins to the right. If the first one died, he'd shot another. If the first one survived, he'd double tap and make sure it was dead, but most importantly, he'd only fire so that he could see one of the armed goblins at a time, while the others only saw the wall.
Hank shoots the goblins on the left cuz they're the ones who are really armed, using the same tactic

Tass: (My bad, reverse the directions)
Hank quickly blew away two of the goblins, first painting the walls red with the blood of the rifle-wielding goblin, and then adding a tint of pink courtesy of the brain matter of the goblin with the handgun. The remaining goblins, practically cornered, quickly converged on Hank as he tried to duck behind cover, the one with the knife cutting him in the thigh, the one with the bottle stabbing him in the side, and the one with the brick smashing it against his shin painfully. Their improvised weapons ensured that they didn't do too terribly much against even his armored clothing, but it was starting to add up. (Hank takes 2 + 7 + 7 = 16 damage total, bringing him up to 46 damage total.)

MAF: Hank switches to his bolt gun while backing up, hopefully making them get into a single file line while chasing them through any hallways as he decided to take a bit of aim. (Called shot)

Tass: The goblins followed him, continuing their assault as he lined them up, cutting and stabbing and bashing at him, (3 + 6 + 6 = 15 more damage) Then, as he backed through the door, two of them lined up and he took his shot. The bolt tore through one goblin's chest and sunk into the next, the momentum of the shot carrying both bodies into the opposite door and flinging it open. The last of the nearby goblins, the girl with the brick, saw this and promptly dropped it. "T...Truce! Don't shoot!" she cried, raising her hands in a position of surrender, and also emphasizing her impressive (for a goblin) breasts, which threatened to spill out of her raggedy leather top at any moment.

MAF: His gun pointed at her, Hank grinned despite his injuries. "My penis, your vagina, tonight. We got a date?" he asked.

Tass: "Uhhh...." the goblin stuttered, blushing and evidently surprised, "Sure! I'd much rather be penetrated that way than the alternative!" She was oddly well spoken, considering the intelligence displayed by the goblins so far.

MAF: "Hey girl, I ain't likin' the thought of killin' what's just standin' there. It was an offer." he chuckled. "I'll take care of ya. By the way, you little green critters got one of those delicious bottles of crimson healin'?"

Tass: "Well... It's all yours for tonight, I keep my word!" she replied, slowly lowering her arms. "Uhhh... I'm not sure, but you could check the room that you just redecorated. That's where Calcimo was teaching me alchemy, but he always hid the finished products in case someone tried to steal them."

MAF: "That so? Thanks darlin. See you on the flip side," he said, making way to casually walk past her to search for those potions.
"Oh! Nearly forgot." he gestured to her, telling her where his hotel was in case she decided she wanted to join in on the little party he was apparently having

Tass: Going into the next room after parting from the big breasted goblin, he would push the door (complete with double impaled goblins) open to find a large cluttered room. Most of it was garbage, but among the clutter he found a number of herbs he knew he could sell easily (30 denarii worth of alchemical reagents) a small grey stone (one greyheart) a larger tooth (1 hound's tooth) a bottle containing a red liquid that was decidedly not for healing (demon's blood) and finally, after smashing open a set of floorboards and digging around a bit, he found a shotgun with some special rounds (one shotgun and 12 AP rounds) an odd white potion (fertility potion) and two smaller red ones (2 healing potions)

MAF: Hank gathered all of those things, tasted the demon blood before deciding it wasn't delicious, and then drank the healing potion when he found them, pocketing the other for quick use. He loaded two of the AP rounds into his double barrels, reloaded his rail gun, and then he sat down to fill destiny up with another big ass cannon. "Load's gettin' light, heh! Yer a hungry girl, Destiny."

Tass: This time Hank went undisturbed while reloading Destiny, and when it was done and he'd pocketed all of his earnings, he was free to go on. This hall had two more doors in it, one on the left and one on the right, and he'd seen the fleeing goblins enter the one on the left before he'd gone into this room.

MAF: To the left it was! Hank went over to that little room, gun prepped and ready to blow away any brave little goblins as he kicked open the door.

Tass: The room, perhaps to his surprise, was empty. There was a hole in the floor, one that led down to the second floor of the building. It was very small, but he might be able to squeeze through it if he wanted to try and follow them.

MAF: Hank looked down into the hole, and wondered if it were just an escape route for them. He shrugged and assumed as much, seemed like the thing to do when you didn't wanna stay somewhere anymore. So, Hank left that room and explored the right in the same fashion, with a kick and an itchy trigger finger.

Tass: That room contained a single goblin, one holding a cudgel and a knife, looking as if he'd been deciding which to try and use. He jumped in surprise when Hank kicked the door open, and shouted; "Bah! I wasn't ready yet!" Hank had the drop on him, and could choose the method of execution for the lone armed goblin, or try to talk to him.

MAF: "Wanna get ready? I'll wait, he-he-he...! HAHAHAHAHA!" Hank laughed.

Tass: "Yes! Go outside, close the door, and give me a minute!"

MAF: "Bitch, you tellin' me what to do?" Hank shot a bolt between the goblin's legs.

Tass: The goblin screamed in pain and collapsed forward, "That's..... That's not even fair at all!"
(scratch that)


Tass: The goblin jumped in surprise as the bolt zipped between his legs and stuck into the wall, dropping both weapons in the process.

MAF: "Now, quiz time. Who's a little bitch that shouldn't have pissed off Hank?"

Tass: "Uhhhh...... Nicholas Cage?"

MAF: "THAT MAN IS A GOOD ACTOR!" Hank shouted, shooting a second warning shot. "Strike two. Now, who was the little bitch that shouldn't have pissed off Hank?"

Tass: "Gah! Nnn.... Dominic! Diomedes! Pai May! Quan Chi! Rick Didlins! I don't know!"

MAF: "Down low," Hank suddenly announced, extending the hand that was not holding the trigger out to receive a down low high-five from the goblin.

Tass: The goblin hesitantly reached out to do as suggested, slapping at Hank's hand with his own.

MAF: Hank took his hand away before the goblin's hand could connect. "Too slow," he announced, before slamming Destiny's ass end against the goblin's head.

Tass: And down the goblin went in a heap, groaning in pain.

MAF: And then Hank reloaded his gun and went looking to clear out the rest of the building.

Tass: Hank returned to the stairs. He'd been downstairs, but knew that he hadn't explored the second hallway. The third floor was the last, the very top. He could go either way.

MAF: Second hallway exploration time!

Tass: Going downstairs, Hank found a goblin on the stairs, who saw him and started sprinting for the bottom floor and the door that would take it to freedom.

MAF: "YOU BETTER RUN BOy IMMA GETCHA!" Hank shouted, before simply watching the goblin run, and then looking around, making sure he didn't miss anything.

Tass: The goblin ran faster. Going to the second hallway of the second floor, Hank found one door already open, displaying an empty room that smelled strongly of recent sex. The other three doors in the hallway were empty. (Sorry, fourth floor is the top. Cept for the attic. )

MAF: So then Hank went for the fourth floor, and stuff.
Tass: (There's three unexplored doors in this hall :p)
(I just goofed on the floor numbering last reply)

Tass: The first door contained, perhaps to Hank's surprise....... GOBLINS. Three of them to be precise, all female... "AAhh shit, he's from the guard, get 'im!" one said, and all three unarmed goblins prepared to jump Hank.

MAF: "I am from the goddess of love, ladies!" Hank announced with a grin, ready to fire if they actually attacked.

Tass: "Hah! Get 'is pants off first, see how much he fights after we've been ridin 'im fer a couple hours!" another of them said in response, and despite the temptations that might cause Hank kept a clear enough head to take a shot at one of them as they rushed, assuming he still wanted to after their announcement.

MAF: It wasn't a fight they were after, it was a fuck. With that in mind, Hank jumped at them as well with a wide grin, throwing his clothes off as if he was a professional at it. "COME AT ME!" Hank shouted in a war cry, aiming to slam into the three goblins and quickly get to the action, aiming to bury his face between one of their legs and lick them.

Tass: To say that the goblins were surprised by Hank's reversal of their tactics was something of an understatement. "The fuck is he do-ahhh!" said one, the original speaker and the one that he ended up with in his face. Her panties were easy to shift aside with his teeth, gripping her and holding her up with his hands while she grabbed his hair for stability. The other two, seeing their target after he removed his own pants, quickly got to work on his cock, grabbing it and applying their mouths, one sucking on the tip and stroking his shaft while the other lapped at his balls and the underside of his length with her tongue. (Resisting pleasure?)

MAF: (Nope) Hank steadied himself while allowing both goblins easy access to his cock. Meanwhile he dove his tongue into the goblin's folds while holding her by her legs, hungrily squirming his tongue into her pussy and licking everywhere as if he were famished and she were his food. His large cock quickly hardened under their attentions, and his potent balls, equally large and ready to make any poor woman burst with their contents, throbbed with the desire to cum while he pleasured the lead goblin with his mouth.

Tass: The goblin he had up in the air moaned loudly as Hank squirmed his tongue into her folds, her body squirming under the effects of the pleasure he granted her. The two goblins lapped away at his stiff rod, sucking and stroking and licking him until he was hard, an easy enough task. "Hu... Nnn... Hurry! G...Get 'im off sos I can get down!" the one in his hands gasped, and one of the other two replied; "He's frickin huge! I can barely get my mouth 'round it!" Evidently impressed by his size, the goblins kept at it, but Hank was not to be beaten easily, his member receiving constant licking and sucking driving him toward orgasm steadily but his tongue doing the same to the goblin he was eating out. It was she who broke first, despite her obvious efforts to avoid it, as she clenched his head and groaned, her juices coating his face and tongue as she came. Only a few seconds later the other two would look at one another and grab his length as one, four hands finishing him quickly and causing him to spurt his semen all over the duo, whom he felt breathing on his length while taking his rapid spurts of hot cum into their mouths as well.
The goblin he had up in the air moaned loudly as Hank squirmed his tongue into her folds, her body squirming under the effects of the pleasure he granted her. The two goblins lapped away at his stiff rod, sucking and stroking and licking him until he was hard, an easy enough task. "Hu... Nnn... Hurry! G...Get 'im off sos I can get down!" the one in his hands gasped, and one of the other two replied; "He's frickin huge! I can barely get my mouth 'round it!" Evidently impressed by his size, the goblins kept at it, but Hank was not to be beaten easily, his member receiving constant licking and sucking driving him toward orgasm steadily but his tongue doing the same to the goblin he was eating out. It was she who broke first, despite her obvious efforts to avoid it, as she clenched his head and groaned, her juices coating his face and tongue as she came.
Only a few seconds later the other two would look at one another and grab his length as one, four hands finishing him quickly and causing him to spurt his semen all over the duo, whom he felt breathing on his length while taking his rapid spurts of hot cum into their mouths as well.
Before he'd even finished cumming, Hank was pushed onto his back, his length twitching and spurting into the air. It wouldn't be long before the two remaining goblins were standing over him, however, both of their pussies threatening to take in his length.

MAF: Hank groaned and moaned into the goblin girl's pussy as the two below tried to handle his intimidating length. He laughed as he heard their struggles. "Ha-ha-ha! You'll get down when I'm done with ya!" Hank announced to the pouting goblin in his hands, before drilling into her with his tongue, and making her cum with rapid thrusts and licks, moving his tongue as if it were a lifeform designed for the sole purpose of making bitches like that goblin explode. When she came, Hank let the goblin fall while leaning back, before reaching his hands back and spanking both of the goblin girls stroking his cock, encouraging them before groping a handful of their little butts as he began to reach climax, absolutely soaking the two in his cum. Laughing when he felt their pushing, he rolled over in compliance, and sat himself up and relaxed his legs out. Seeing them ready to take his dick, he reached for the one with the wider hips, and pulled her closer to stand just over his cock, and the other, he brought closer to his face, putting his face to her crotch and licking her petals.

Tass: Hank, though left momentarily weak from his orgasm, wasn't that way for long. As such, after the one dropped her hips and took his member deep into her tight depths, her pussy too small to even take all of it, the other would be dragged up to his face and made to sit on it. "He's..... Nnnnn! Just... Too big! I can barely take him!" the one riding him shouted between moans, while the other was squirming on his mouth, leaving it unclear whether she was trying to get away or make him do more.

MAF: Hank braced himself up on one arm while leaning back, using his feet, placed firmly on the ground, to thrust his hips up and push the goblin trying to fuck herself onto his cock to her limits. With his big rod, he plunged upwards, stretching the goblin with his dick while not hesitating to show just as much focus to the goblin in his face. He licked and sucked on her clit, while bringing his other hand around to grope her ass and slide his middle finger forth suddenly to plunge it into her ass, laughing as he surprised her with a sudden attack to her anus.

Tass: Driving up into her and bouncing the goblin up and down on his cock, Hank felt her clenching tightly around him, her grip growing harder by the second as she screamed in pleasure under his member's assault upon her. The other goblin yelped in surprise as he slid a finger into her ass, which squeezed tightly around the intruding digit but couldn't force it out, the added pleasure causing her squirming to weaken considerably. A few moments later the goblin on top of him would be the one to reach her peak first, screaming aloud as she creamed all over his member, her inner contractions very nearly milking his seed out but just barely failing to do so. With her beaten as well, Hank was free to give a last few thrusts and expunge the contents of his throbbing manhood into her, or to shift her off and do so to the one on his face, or more or less anything else he could imagine.

MAF: As the goblin on his cock came, Hank began laughing like a true villain. So proud and dominant was he as she felt her climax, that he didn't stop thrusting, pounding her up and down, fucking her throughout her climax to ensure her mind was wrecked with absolute bliss before he launched his hips upwards, holding them up as he came inside of her. Just as potent as before, his cum gushed out, quickly filling and inflating the little goblin with his cum, his potent seed likely impregnating the little demon with Hank's seed with no way for the spunk to leave her body. Once he finished cumming inside of her, Hank would pull that inflated goblin off of his cock, which was completely slick now with all the mixed juices, before he'd make to stand on his knees, looking at the final goblin girl. His hands made as if to force her on her knees.
"Still got plenty more for you, darlin'!" Hank chuckled, eager to fuck the already worked up goblin into an orgasm as he sought to pin her upper body against the floor, his hands and fingers locking around behind her own, before putting his cock against her folds, and grunting as he roughly shoved himself inside.

Tass: "Hhaaannnnnn.... Be... Be gentle!" the goblin said, while the other two beaten goblin girls laid about, one inflated with his seed and possibly his child. Despite her request, Hank easily slipped into her, causing the diminutive demon to moan loudly and clench around his thick member. It would take barely any time at all for the goblin to do the same as her partner, clenching around his shaft and moaning lewdly as he hammered away at her upraised backside. His crotch now coated in her juices as well, Hank had her at his mercy, all three of them now subordinate to him according to the very custom they'd attempted to invoke against him.

MAF: Hank cooed at the goblin as she desired him to be gentle. "Can't do that, darlin... Yer cunny hole is suckin' me in and beggin' to get pounded...!" he groaned, before making good on his claim and pounding his thick flesh into the goblin's stretched pink pussy. He leaned over her with a dominant air, moaning as she squeezed his dick and came all over his cock. Hank wasn't educated in the ways of their kind, but he seemed to pick up on it regardless, becoming dominant himself as it came naturally, and making the last of the three goblins his personal bitch to stuff his dick into. As he thrusted himself into her, showing no hesitation of any sort at the thought of impregnating her, he wondered about breeding all the whores he seemed to pick up, and having his own little army of sexy goblin whores to do his bidding.
The thought of being an overlord like that thrilled him and drove him to fuck the goblin harder, dragging her along the ground as he thrusted quickly, stretching her belly before he groaned, grabbing the goblin by her hair and lifting her head back, forcing a kiss on her lips while groping her breast and inflating her with his third load of cum.

Tass: The goblin was putty in Hank's hands, making no effort at all to even resist him following her orgasm. She went along with everything that he did to her without question or complaint, until with another scream she came again as he inflated her with his seed, causing her belly to expand as if he were making her pregnant with his child right then and there.

MAF: Letting out a groan now that he had spent himself inside of the third goblin, Hank drew his dick back and let his seed spill out of her pussy in a nice mess. "You ladies enjoy that? I sure did! Ha-ha-ha!" he laughed.

Tass: The three all groaned in unison, and looked up at Hank with demure looks before nodding. "Yyy..Yess... Chieftain.." the first he'd made orgasm said feebly

RaptorJesus: Hank sheathed his cock back into his pants and got dressed anew, before twisting his lips at the goblins. "You stayin' here or what?"

tassadar003: "What would you... Have us do?" one said uncertainly, still allowing his seed to drain out of her.

RaptorJesus: "Hell if I know. You could just skedaddle back to my place if yer feelin'... Shell-shocked~" he chuckled.

tassadar003: "That... That might be best..." she said tiredly, glancing at her comrades who nodded in agreement.

RaptorJesus: "Pansies." he grunted, before telling them where the hotel was, and would have them wait there, and expect to see other goblin girls.

Hank: 34 damage

Let Toteck the goblin druggy live. Currently outside unconscious.

Let Squin the goblin prostitute live. Currently possibly outside.

Let Nelin and Shallia live, goblin sluts/scrappers. Currently outside.

Let Sina the big-tittied goblin alchemist in training live. Currently outside.

Defeat Tonily, Ranick, and Paisley in sexual combat
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Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits


Favorite Vidyas and movies of the past and present!

Video Games
Before 97 - Master of Orion 2, Biohazard Battle, Dinosaurs for Hire, Earthbound, Vectorman, Toki, Primal Rage, Diablo, the Exile series by Spiderweb Software, Actraiser.
1997 - Favorite Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, runner up Star Fox 64. Honorable mentions go to GoldenEye 007.
1998 - Favorite Starcraft, runner up Banjo Kazooie. Honorable mentions go to Fallout 2, Pokemon, Turok 2: Seeds of Evil, Half-Life, and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
1999 - Favorite Homeworld, runner up Dungeon Keeper 2. Honorable mentions go to Heroes of Might and Magic 3, Super Smash Bros, System Shock 2, Jet Force Gemini, TA: Kingdoms, and Donkey Kong 64.
2000 - Favorite Zelda: Majora's Mask, runner up Homeworld: Cataclysm. Honorable mentions go to Perfect Dark, Ogre Battle 64, Deus Ex, Diablo 2, Mechwarrior 4, and Banjo Tooie.
2001 - Favorite Halo: Combat Evolved, runner up Paper Mario. Honorable mentions go to Clive Barker's Undying, Tribes 2, Star Wars: Episode I: Battle for Naboo, Aliens versus Predator 2, Civ 3, Star Wars Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader.
2002 - Morrowind, runner up Metroid Prime. Honorable mentions go to Super Smash Brothers: Melee, Warcraft 3, Eternal Darkness, and Age of Mythology.
2003 - Favorite Otogi: Myth of Demons, runner up Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne. Honorable mentions go to Panzer Dragoon Orta, Zelda: Windwaker, and KotOR.
2004 - Favorite Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines, runner up Rome: Total War. Honorable mentions go to Fable, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Godzilla: Save the Earth, Otogi 2, Warlords Battlecry 3, Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War, and Ninja Gaiden.
2005 - Favorite Resident Evil 4, runner up KotOR 2. Honorable mentions go to Dawn of War: Winter Assault.
2006 - Favorite Oblivion, runner up Dead Rising. Honorable mentions go to Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends, Heroes of Might and Magic 5, Dawn of War: Dark Crusade, Neverwinter Nights 2, Medieval 2: Total War, Sword of the Stars, Space Empires 5, Titan Quest, and Zelda: Twilight Princess.
2007 - Favorite Bioshock, runner up The Witcher. Honorable mentions go to Call of Duty 4.
2008 - Favorite Ninja Gaiden 2, runner up Mass Effect. Honorable mentions go to Rock Band, Far Cry 2, Fable 2, Mount & Blade, and Left 4 Dead.
2009 - Favorite Brutal Legend, runner up Halo 3: ODST. Honorable mentions go to Killing Floor, Dragon Age: Origins, and Left 4 Dead 2.
2010 - Favorite Splatterhouse, runner up Mass Effect 2. Honorable mentions go to Halo: Reach, Dead Rising 2, Mount & Blade: Warband, and Fallout: New Vegas.
2011 - Favorite Skyrim, runner up . Honorable mentions go to Bastion,
2012 - Favorite Mass Effect 3, runner up the Walking Dead. Honorable mentions go to Prototype 2, Orcs Must Die 2, and XCom: Enemy Unknown.
(so far) 2013 - Favorite Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, runner up Sang-Froid: Tales of Werewolves. Honorable mentions go to
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Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World, Hank vs Goblins round 1 part 4, the thrilling conclusion!

MAF: Hank would adjust his clothes so that his cock wasn't flopping about in combat, making sure to leave some room in his pants ever since his 'adjustments' to his body from pounding too much corrupt pussy. Though no pussy is too much pussy in Hank's eyes. Probably why the corruption made him special in the ways succubi interact with him. Even his body knew how precious good pussy was, it's even a cure for the blues, a nasty mental disease that afflicts sad and lonely men. With a grunt, he got Destiny ready, and headed out of the room he just banged three goblins in, to see about clearing out the rest of this building... However. "This dump is a lot taller than it looks," he grunted with displeasure.

Tass: After clearing the floor and finding no more goblins, Hank would find himself faced with a ladder leading up to the floor where the stairs had crumbled, the only way further up, where the goblins had warned him of something living in the attic. He would hear footfalls and nervous voices up above, but not be able to understand what they were saying.

MAF: "Mind yer feet!" Hank shouted, before casually firing his big boomer at the cieling.

Tass: The trap door at the top of the ladder exploded upwards, but then a massive explosion that was much more powerful than the shot of his gun sounded, and a wave of heat and pressure nearly knocked Hank off of his feet as the ceiling caved in under the force of an explosion, forcing him to shield his eyes from the blast. "Shit! Is he dead?" a frightened voice sounded a few moments after the explosion, barely audible over the ringing in his ears. None of the blast had caught him, and besides a light spray of wood and plaster he hadn't even been dirtied by the explosion's aftermath. "He's gotta be dead! Go check his body!" another, more confident voice replied, and Hank heard shuffling footsteps before a goblin poked his head out into the obliterated portal to look down at Hank.

MAF: "Hi," Hank said to the goblin poking his head down, before shooting him in the face with the double barrel.

Tass: The goblin opened his mouth to speak a reply, but then the top half of his head was blown off and splattered over the ceiling. His corpse tumbled down and flopped onto the floor at Hank's feet, and he would hear the more confident voice say a moment later; "Huh..... Guess he's not dead."

MAF: "Doo dee doo..." Hank sung lightly, before thinking for a moment. Up that ladder meant climbing. Destiny was a woman that couldn't be handled with just one hand, so he thought about it for a moment, and decided to duck into a room for a moment and keep an eye on the trap door. He debated about reloading his big boomer, but he wanted to see if more goblins would come out. "Let me ask yall up there a question. You wanna live?" he inquired, aiming to slip an extra round into his double barrel.

Tass: Stepping away and taking cover while replacing his spent shotgun round proved to be a good decision. "Hrm, lemme think about that!" the confident voice replied, and then a small object would be hurled down the stairs to clatter into the rubble at the base of the ladder. It then exploded about two seconds later, shredded the surrounding area with shrapnel. "Dammit Donev! We still have to live here after this! You can't go and keep blowing stuff up!" a different voice said, and then the confident voice grunted in reply; "Ahhhh, shut up! It's not like we haven't fixed the place up before! Now go and see if he's dead!" A goblin head poked itself out of the hole again, but this time Hank could easily hide if he wanted. Or work on adding some more red and pink paint to the ceiling of the top floor. Whichever he preferred.

MAF: "Hi," Hank said to the goblin in a gesture of deja vu, before that goblin was blown away as well. "This is just gonna keep happenin' and happenin', gobbos." Hank laughed. "You ain't gonna win."

Tass: And so it happened, and was answered by a sigh. "Oh really? What are you gonna do down there, huh?" the confident voice replied stalwartly, "All we need do to is stay up here where you can't shoot us, and you can't do anything!"

MAF: "Oh, you're so right..." Hank replied, before sitting down and working on reloading his big boomer. "Man, I'm so stupid."

Tass: "Yeah, you are! Dumb human!" the goblin replied, and thus was Hank able to reload his main gun without being bothered. "Hurry up! Put that there! It's almost ready! When it's done he won't stand a chance!" that same voice whispered hurriedly, and the sound of metal clanking and feet scurrying would clue him into some activity going on above.

MAF: "Hmm," Hank hummed, looking up at the roof above him and listening for the steps. Whatever they were working on sounded like it could be blown up, maybe. If he could guess right... Then their little patter of feet would be right where that thing is... Taking aim with his boomer, he quietly aimed, and fired. "Shot in the dark," he said.

Tass: Hank's boomer barrel tore through the floor with a thunderous crash, and the goblins above screamed as they were most likely bombarded with wooden shrapnel. Then a metallic bang happened, followed by a louder series of metallic crashes, and a voice screaming; "Noooo! My inventions! No -aaaaaaahhhhhhh!" And then a soft squishing noise, followed by panicked shouts, and then a stream of loud calls of surrender.

MAF: All the crashing was music to Hank's ears. He guessed right, and it felt good. Wooden pieces going everywhere, metallic booms tickled Hank in a good way. Then there was a tiny squishing noise. Hank didn't know why, but it sounded so... "FUCKIN HILARIOUS! HAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!" Hank roared like a villain. "That was too good, I'll be laughing about that sound for days." he chuckled. Upon hearing the cries for surrender, Hank clicked his tongue. "Why don't yall come down that ladder? Men can beat it, and any girl gobbos up there are mine."

Tass: Hank would find himself sorely disappointed, this time. Most goblins were, according to what he'd heard, male, and apparently most of the men had opted to run upstairs when the violence had started, as a dozen male goblins filed down with their hands up, and promptly ran off assuming Hank didn't tell them to stop or open fire.

MAF: Hank let the cowards hit the road. Ammo was such a good smelling resource that should only be shared by those willing to fight and die. Still, there might be some goblins remaining up there in hiding. Hank's eye twitched, so he opted to go up there and check. Carefully, he looked through the holes he made, trying to spot something. When making it up the ladder, he would climb up just enough to the point where he could stand on the ladder and use both hands to aim about. It was clumsy, but there was no helping it. He had to check.

Tass: There were no goblins at the top of the ladder. Inside was a larger room, with a door on the other side that was closed. A bunch of tables covered in stuff were present, but in the center of the room was a large pile of metal from which a pool of red was slowly spreading. Nothing moved upstairs, but some dark aura was emanating from the doorway on the opposite side of the room.

MAF: Reaching the top, Hank was surprised. "No ambush? The hell?" he questioned, before noticing the door. "Evil aura, suspicious door, and every reason not to open that door... Yup, I'm openin' it." Hank chuckled, at first reaching for the handle, before throwing the door open. "PACKAGE DELIVERY!" he shouted, holding Destiny firmly, expecting perhaps something powerful.

Tass: The door slammed open, and a dark oozing power stretched out. A figure stood in the darkness, shrouded in inky blackness but with fierce glowing red eyes, and before Hank could react it shot out at him..... And he found a pair of big, soft boobs pressed against his chest, a lovely grinning face rimmed in pink hair turned up toward him as arms softly gripped at his sides. "Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman said excitedly, a spade-tipped tail flitting about excitedly while miniature batlike wings batted at the air, drawing up tiny blooms of smoky dust.

MAF: Hank saw the pair of red eyes, and he grit his teeth. It looked light a mighty nasty beast! He was ready to open fire like a mad man, but something held his trigger finger as his nose twitched. "Wait... That's the smell of..." and then she jumped out and embraced him, "A WOMAN!" he exclaimed. Her boobs pressed against him, and his hands already were instinctively grabbing her bountiful ass. "God... Damn..." Hank said slowly. "Whelp, traditional weaponry won't work on you! I'll have to employ my girl-slayer!" Hank announced, grinning lewdly while holding the bat winged woman close and letting her feel his already stiffening manhood and self-declared 'girl-slayer.'

Tass: "Excellent!" the woman replied, and then with surprising strength lifted Hank and threw him over onto the bed. The narrow straps over her massive breasts were pulled aside, revealing the rounded orbs and the pink tips that topped them, and she pounced onto him and tore off his pants ravenously, a broad grin on her face. "So big.... But it's all dirty!" the succubus said as she examined Hank's manhood, and it was indeed covered in the leftovers of the assorted goblins he'd had sex with. "You'd better have plenty left in these for me before you die!" she said as she grabbed at his balls, and then if he wasn't fully hard by then, he would be a moment later as his shaft was wrapped within the pillowy confines of the demon's bosom. A few quick pumps would make him realize that being between them was worlds better than even the three goblins together had been able to make him feel, and as she started feeding on him he would feel the strength leaving his limbs as the urge to cum quickly rose.

MAF: "Aw hell," Hank cursed slightly as he was picked up by the succubus and thrown onto the bed. Having his pants torn off was no big deal, but her announcement was somewhat bothersome. "Yer gonna hump me until I die? Baby... That's a waste!" he announced to her, before groaning as his length was sealed between her soft pillowy mounds. He'd twitch with pleasure, and groan loudly, before looking down at her. "Why would ya kill me... When we could fuck every day!?" Hank argued, though couldn't help but pump his hips up into her breasts, indulging in the incredible pleasure.

Tass: "I'm hungry!" she said simply, and then continued to pump her heavy bosom up and down over his dick, leaving him nearly crippled with pleasure as she drained him. His spirit would replenish what she took, but the succubus was accelerating her rapid pumping, and the urge to cum was growing stronger by the second. "It just keeps coming back..... Maybe I'll keep you! But you've got to provide lots of yummy cum too!" the busty demon said, and then started pumping harder and faster, urging him to spill his seed for her. (Hank is at 57/94 HP, 20/42 PP, 42/42 EP)

MAF: "DEAL!" Hank shouted, before letting himself go, before reaching down to stimulate her nipples with his fingers while letting his instincts take over, thrusting his hips up into her bosom lustfully, groaning as his length twitched between her soft and plush breasts. His orgasm was quick to come, and when he felt it quickly approaching, he'd reach out and grab her head, pulling her forth to encourage her to take his tip into her mouth. As soon as he'd feel those lips, he'd erupt, letting streams of his seed flow either into her mouth, or onto her breasts and face.

Tass: Hank's efforts to push her how he liked were met with some refusal on her part, as she openly glared up at him while his strength proved insufficient to urge her mouth onto the head of his cock. "Hah! You'd never even survive my mouth! It's off limits!" she said, and then pumped her breasts up and down until he peaked anyway, bringing him to the edge and beyond despite his desires. She let out a pleased cry as his cock erupted, coating her face and breasts in rope after rope of his semen. As he lay in recovery, her breasts still pumping rapidly, her tongue flicked out and gathered up some of it before her eyes lit up. "Yummy!" she said, and suddenly he had his desires anyway as she began to suck on the head of his member. >>

Tass: The pleasure difference seemed impossible, and Hank would find himself suddenly cumming again immediately after his first orgasm, his balls working to empty themselves as the succubus greedily sucked them completely dry. Waves of his soul were sucked out as well, leaving Hank barely able to move within only a few moments as she drank down everything that he had to offer. Soon enough he was empty, and the demoness pulled off of his dick with a pop and sighed dreamily. "Yummy! And so good and quick to drain too~ I'm going to keep going! I want more!" she said, and though he was empty she climbed up on top of him, straddling him, and pulled aside her skimpy clothing to reveal her glistening pink pussy. >>

Tass: "I want more! Give it to me!" she said commandingly, her sex threatening to descend like a hungry beast and suck out everything that he had left if he didn't think quickly and say something to stop it.

MAF: "Off-limits? Come on now don't be like thaaaaaaaaaaat!" Hank moaned aloud as she took him into her mouth anyway. The intense pleasure making him cum instantly. He simply had to wonder if this woman was really someone powerful, to be able to make him cum like that. Still, after he came into her mouth, despite the nature of his soul, even he was running out of steam. Hank twitched as her mouth worked his cock, and sucked him like a straw. His mouth hung open as he became blinded by the pleasure, emptying himself again, this time into her mouth. She wasn't kidding about her mouth being no joke. "Hold on... There ain't nothin' left..." he said weakly. "Let me gather my spirits back up..."

Tass: "Awwww, tapped out already?" she said, grinning as she lowered herself, her petals teasing over the tip of his length. "Little you really wants to keep going.... He's still all hard~"

MAF: "Y-yeah, but just gimme a moment... I think I figured out how this works." Hank notified her, before putting his hand to his own length, and stroking himself. Feeling his energy come back, Hank began to laugh with glee. "Yeah! This looks stupid as hell but it works!" Hank announced, stroking himself back up to full, cumming on her pussy when he'd inevitibly reach his peak, before putting his hands on her ass, getting himself prepared for her to mount him. "I'm ready, sweetheart!" Hank declared, patting the demon's ass.

Tass: The succubus watched Hank's display with stark confusion, but then gasped in surprise as he brought himself to orgasm over her pussy lips. "Don't waste it like that!" she complained, and his energy reached up again she rapidly dropped down, taking his spasming cock inside of her. It almost made him cum again immediately just as she settled down, her pussy sucking up the dregs of his latest climax like fine wine, and then she began to bounce up and down onto him with a lewd sigh. "Cum... Cum.... Cum! Cum for me! Gimme more! Gimme lots!" she sang, her heavy bust jiggling in the wake of her energetic bouncing.

MAF: "Hnnnnnnnnngh!" Hank moaned out as he was wrecked with the pleasure of her pussy. She immediately began to bounce herself up and down, treating him to a wonderful sight. So wonderful was it that Hank coudln't help but lean up and take one of those bouncing breasts with his mouth, sucking on her nipple lustfully before releasing it with a wet pop, swallowing any milk her breast might have given up. Hank was breathing heavy, his hips moving on their own to meet her hips as they dropped down to suck in his cock. He was quick to answer her demands as well, shooting even more strands of seed into her womb. He was feeling quite taxed from cumming so much, but Hank wouldn't let it end on his accord. He'd keep fucking this glory of a woman until she was satisfied.

Tass: A surprised cry, and the demon's first moan came as Hank clamped his mouth onto her breasts. "Nnnn.... No! Not.... There!" she grunted, her bouncing adopting a suddenly desperate tone. His next orgasm came and went, his seed sucked out of him faster than he could produce it, and on she went. She had no milk to give, unfortunately, but his suckling at her bosom and the upward thrusts of his hips had her gyrating so wildly that he could barely keep up, and a moment later, if he kept up his attentions to her breasts, Hank would watch as she threw her head back and moaned all the louder. Yet another orgasm would be sucked out of him, the thirsty clamp of her pussy impossible to resist, but then she would collapse onto him with a sigh.... And seemingly pass out without another thought, a contented look on her face. She even started to snore.

MAF: When Hank saw her reaction, he saw a chance. She clearly enjoyed having her breasts stimulated, so he figured why the hell not? He began to passionately tongue and lick and suck on the points of her bountiful breasts, growling with lust as he released one load after another into her pussy, only to have it sucked into her body. Screw the reward, Hank would think, this was more than reward enough! With a mental cheer, he groaned loudly as she'd finally cum around his length, her pussy spasaming and squeezing his dick. He'd thrust his hardest yet, before cumming into her pussy a final time to meet her climax. All he could think once she fell over and went to sleep was... 'I did it... I WON! SHE'S MINE!' he gestured with victory.
MAF: He was trembling both with the aftermath of the intense session, and the eagerness to pick her lewd body up and carry it to his hotel. He didn't plan on letting a single day pass without fucking this woman. He gripped her head gently and began to kiss the side of her face. He'd embrace her in a happy hug, before testing out his legs. He was hoping they were enough to carry him out of the building...
MAF: if they were... Then the streets of Acheron would see a scruffy man walking nude down the street, his cock rock hard, a big heavy gun in one hand, and a damn fine woman over his shoulder.
MAF: To top it off, he'd have the biggest, happiest grin on his face.

Tass: "Oi!" the witch stated as he came striding out of the cleared apartment building with no pants and a succubus hanging over his shoulder. Every one of the male goblins was unconscious on the ground, while the females were all clustered together and shivering in fear of her apparent wrath. "What the hell? Where did your.... Oh, I guess that's where your pants went. Did you just leave them up there? You know you'll get arrested for being naked in public if you don't put those back on, right?"
Tass: She seemed very exasperated.

MAF: "Well, my hands are full, and they're all torn up. You gonna help me remedy that problem?" Hank inquired, he still couldn't stop grinning. But he still noticed the girl goblins. "Those are mine, by the way." he said, before blowing a kiss at them. "Hey there, darlin's!"

Tass: "So long as you're decent, they'll do you long enough to get new ones," she said, and then hopped onto her broom and floated up to the roof. She returned a moment later, the goblins all gaping in awe at the conquered succubus hanging over his shoulder, having acquired his pants from her room. She tossed them at Hank's feet, still floating in the air, and said; "So, am I to assume that it's clear now?"

MAF: "Maybe. I killed, shooed, and fucked everything in sight." He replied with a shrug, before looking over to the goblins. He wondered why they were staring, before coming to a conclusion as he grinned at them. "Nice ass, right?" he asked them, smoothing one hand along the demon's butt.

Tass: The goblins all nodded, and the witch sighed. And took off her hat. "Welp. I guess the job's done then, if all of the squatters have been taken care of."
Tass: (Hank gains 6 exp for goblin fightanz, 6 exp for killing ye goblin alchemist the way he did, and 4 exp for taming the succubus. He also gains 287 corruption)

MAF: His bare cock visibly twitched when she took her hat off, before he twisted his jaw and looked to his pants. He set the demoness and Destiny down to go ahead and put his pants back on as best he could. Then, he looked to her hat, before shrugging. "It ain't worth the bullet." he said to her. "Comon, lovlies, we're goin' to my place." he said to the female goblins.


Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

The rest of the above
Tass: "I guess I'll see you at work then!" she said, and flew off on her broom. The goblins, in turn, followed on after Hank as he led them through the streets of Acheron, getting surprisingly few odd looks, before arriving at his hotel. The innkeeper took one look at the gathering behind him and the woman over his shoulder, and said; "You're being switched to the loft. It's ten denarii a night. Cheaper than getting the three rooms it would take to fit that many."

MAF: Hank fetched ten denarii out from his pouch before slamming it on the counter, "Is it warm? I got a pet snake ya know."

Tass: "It still has a fireplace," he said, taking the coins and handing him a different key than the one he already had. "Move your friends and then give me back the old key later."

MAF: "It better be a good one." Hank replied, before looking to see if he could find it. If the loft wasn't easily in sight, he'd stare at the man at the counter until he forked over the details. If he didn't spill the beans still, Hank would say, "Where's the fuckin' loft?" Regardless, he'd make his way down, leave the succubus on the bed he planned to sleep in, and told the goblins to make themselves comfortable while he'd see about food. Coming back up, he'd ask if food was included, before going up to fetch the snake. "Knock knock," he'd say, coming in with a grin.

Tass: "Top floor," the innkeeper grunted, and then Hank did as instructed and brought his present group up there. The goblins began to settle in to the wider space, and then Hank went down to his old room to find the naga, unsurprisingly, sleeping soundly by the fire.

MAF: Hank would approach the sleeping naga with a grin, before kneeling over the lovely serpent. He'd brush her hair at first, before giving her cheek a kiss. "Mornin' darlin'," he'd greet her.

Tass: "Mmmmm..... ZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZ" the naga replied, not rousing herself easily via his affectionate caresses.

MAF: Hank hummed. She was being stubborn it seemed. So, he looked down at her, and saw about seeing if she was still asleep after he would adjust her to lay on her back, and expose her pussy and breasts. He'd begin to toy with her breasts and pussy with his hands, all while smiling down on her, pleasuring her until she decided to wake up, even if it required her to cum before she'd rouse.

Tass: And cum she did! The naga was a heavy sleeper, that much he already knew, and she resisted his initial molestations as easily as she had his earlier affections. She began to squirm and murmur after a few moments of enduring his touch, but even then she didn't awake. After a few minutes, he would feel her body spasm, and her pussy would begin to squirt her juices and tightly grip around his fingers, refusing to let him go for several seconds as they tried in vain to milk the two digits. A moment later her eyes opened lazily, and she promptly glomped him and dragged him down onto the bed, cuddling him for warmth and trying to go back to sleep.

MAF: "Good mornin' ba-aw damn it!" Hank cursed as he was glomped and pulled down to the ground. "Sweetheart, we got a new room. Let's get down there and sleep." he offered, still trying to stand up and see if he could drag her there with her wrapped around him.

Tass: "Nnnnn...... Dun wanna.... Sleepy..... ZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzz"

MAF: "Damn it, woman..." Hank cursed, before trying once again to see about standing and dragging her along. Stubborn woman didn't want to give.

Tass: Hank ended up dragging the naga along, who clung to him for warmth all the more as they came away from the blankets and the fire, all the way up from the second floor to the fourth. The goblins all looked with some interest at the snake-wrapped man, giggling, while the succubus snored as loudly as the naga still was. A quartet of maids came up with dishes laden with food a moment later, including the lithe one that he had had sex with.

MAF: Seeing the maid he was familiar with, he gave her a wink... And then gave the rest of the maids winks, blowing a kiss to any maid who happened to have a lovely chest, or even a nice set of hips with a bouncy ass. Despite all the fucking he did that day, he'd even be fine with fucking all of these maids. "Do you gals come with the meal?" he inquired playfully.

Tass: "Not today," the one who was familiar with him said with a grin, one that the others, all demons, seemed to share. "Maybe next time~" the bustiest of the four cooed in playful disappointment, and then they left him with his pack of goblins, his two succubi (one of whom was the naga he'd just lugged up the stairs but now seemed to be rousing for food) and his aching spent balls and sore body.

MAF: Hank would eat and rest with the group he had assembled. While eating, he wondered he could accomplish now that he had secured such a group. If he could get them all to serve him... Then maybe he could even ditch this crummy hotel, and get treated like a king. If he could get influence... Hank began to feel giddy at the thought of having a sea of beauties to fuck. "Call me Simba, but I just can't wait to be king." Hank laughed.
MAF: He would also collect his reward at a later time, 100 dosh in fact.

Also, a record of the other loot that Hank gained:
Monster teeth x9
Delethro Family Amulet
Untreated Shorn Syrupx2
22 denarii
Alchemy book
Package with strange white powder
30 denarii worth of alchemical reagents
Hound's toothx1
Demon's Bloodx1
12 AP rounds
Fertility Potion
Healing Potion x1


Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Isolda's flashback, moved here for reasons. Is tied to this post. Is continued in this post.

"You're still too stiff," Ulfring grunted softly, having rebuffed Isolda's attack as if it were little more than the wild flailing of an incompetent child once again. "You always say that!" a much younger Isolda that was freshly into the maturation brought on by puberty whined, rising back to her feet. Though she had learned much from her mother and much more again from the harsh life that she had led since watching her die, having adopted a version of the Mulweissen form over the years from a mixture of memory and practice, she was hardly a match for Ulfring, a true master of his own style the savage Hardtslag tradition of swordsmanship. The man was at least thirty years her senior (though Isolda had as yet been unable to worm the scarred veteran's actual age out of him,) but he was still so much faster and more precise with a blade than she that he could make beating her look as easy every time as it had that time.

Her own sword, a cheap rapier that she had taken from a man that she had killed long ago, had been broken in the battle against the wolves that had nearly caused her death. It felt like years had passed since then, but in truth it had only been a few months, not even a turn of Grem's seasons having passed since that brutal day on which she had assumed her life was going to end. She was now using a makeshift wooden blade made by Ulfring, a carbon copy of the one wielded by her instructor. It was longer than what she was used to in the length of both the handle and the blade, necessitating the use of two hands if she wished to use it properly but not impossible to wield in one. Even now it was a more unwieldy weapon than the pale young woman liked, and its wooden construction meant that it wasn't balanced properly anyway, making it even more difficult for her to get used to it. Ulfring had opted to make both training blades like that, producing a weapon shorter than what he himself preferred but longer than what she had liked in the interests of fairness, but Isolda thought bitterly that he had adapted to the shorter weapon within their first few training sessions and hadn't shown any discomfort with it since.

"That's because you keep doing it!" Ulfring grunted, though by then Isolda easily detected the hint of amusement in the gruff man's tone.... Meaning that she only grew angrier at her failings. Retrieving her discarded wooden weapon, Isolda's next attempt was even more haphazard than the last, and produced similarly disappointing results. Picking herself up out of the snow with a huff while her teacher looked down at her with a grin hidden by his thick beard, she set herself to try again. The Mulweissen form that she had practiced exclusively up until that point allowed her to identify how he'd done it and puzzle out how she could have countered it, but her third attempt for the day produced the same results as the first two despite her mental preparations. Never before had she been so stifled as she had been when trying to learn the older swordsman's techniques, and to add insult to injury he had seemingly picked up on her tactic, as he said; "In a real battle I wouldn't have given you a second chance, much less a third. Trying to think your way past every counter I use won't work. You need to break past your opponent's guard on the first attack or, failing that, put them at enough of a disadvantage that they cannot strike back before you can attack again."

It was hardly a philosophy that Isolda could find any real fault with, not with the opportunistic and strategic mindset instilled by her mother's way of fighting, but it was contrary to how she had engaged in battle up until that point and was difficult for her to accept even after what training she had had from Ulfring already. She had always been one to deflect the attacks of her enemies again and again, relying on the quickness, agility, and stamina provided by her voidic heritage and rough upbringing, her strategy relying on wearing down her foes ad frustrating them until they made a mistake that allowed her to end them. She had assumed that that would be enough to get her through any fight, but now that she had started sparring with Ulfring she was being shown the folly in that philosophy, much to her chagrin. The man was a master swordsman, at least compared to her, and even as much as she enshrined her mother's prowess in combat she couldn't say for certain who was the better fighter between the two.

It wasn't the first time, but again she had to try that tact on him; "In a real battle, I'd be fighting more defensively, forcing you to wear yourself out before I moved in to strike." Ulfring frowned, as he always had before when she made that statement, and replied; "Try it." That was the only warning that he ever gave her, but for once Isolda thought she was ready for the man's charge. Their makeshift weapons clacked noisily, his first attempted strike rebounding away from her rather than landing painfully against her pale flesh. The wanderer stepped just slightly to the side and redirected the attack smoothly, pushing the elder warrior's awesome power to the side rather than trying to go strength for strength against him, and with a triumphant cry she flicked her wrist aside and released his momentum while turning her blade to return his swing with one aimed at his left shoulder. The idea was to meet him just enough to keep his momentum going, and then slip aside to make her own strike, the normal weakness present in warriors preferring heavier two handed weapons like Ulfring and one that Isolda had exploited in real combat before. It was a strategy that she had tried against him before, but usually she didn't even get past the part where she was supposed to stop his attack, and her initial success made her cocky enough to go for broke before thinking it through like she normally would.

As such, when he spun and flicked his blade down so quickly that she could barely follow it, rapping his wooden weapon against the wrist of her sword-arm, Isolda let out a cry of surprise and pain and dropped her own weapon, ruining the surprise. She looked at him sourly for a moment, to which he merely grinned, before retrieving her blade and trying again. For well over twenty minutes they sparred on like that, Isolda deflecting one attack, sometimes two or even three, before being rebuffed and smacked as soon as she tried to make one of her own. It was the sort of depressing defeat that she had grown used to when facing Ulfring, despite having rarely been beaten before herself, and as frustrating as it was Isolda tried to persevere through it and land a hit of her own. The first few times being beaten so handily she had been extremely bitter about the whole affair, but the challenge that she faced in the older swordsman was one that she couldn't seem to allow herself to back down from until she had conquered it, and gradually her bitter spats had faded in intensity until they were replaced with eager puzzling as to how she might finally be able to best him. Her determination was not to see her victorious that day, however, nor for many weeks after that in the span of the two years that she would spend there in the frosty mountains of Grem.

Finally, with a frustrated grunt, Isolda lashed out with perhaps a bit more force than was appropriate for a sparring match while Ulfring was in the middle of a swing that he had expected her to block as she had before, and for a moment it seemed as if they would both hit each other, a trade that the angry young warrior would happily accept at that point. But then, suddenly, Ulfring flashed aside again, and Isolda's training sword whistled through the air, missing him by inches, and while it was still in the arc of its missed swing he came right back in. This time it was his body and not his sword that slammed up against her, knocking the wind out of Isolda's body and the built up frustration of her repeated failings out of her thoughts. "Gah! W... Wha?" she gasped in surprise, recoiling back only to end up in a bear hug that crushed her lean frame against his larger, more powerful one.

Isolda was still a teenager by that point, her voidic gifts still over a year from developing, and her body wasn't possessed of anywhere near the strength that it would eventually develop before she left Ulfring's home. It was an unwinnable position for her, and her lungs refused to draw in enough breath to power her struggles against his incredibly strong hold, leaving her squirming to be a brief and fruitless exercise before she succumbed. He didn't hold her like that long enough for her to pass out or hard enough to break any bones of course, but by the time she was released and allowed to tumble to the ground, Isolda was a helpless wreck and very close to passing out. Gasping in every lungful of frigid mountain air, Isolda couldn't help but mentally mark down that she was sweating heavily despite the chilled environment and had been breathing heavy even before the hug that had quite decisively beaten her, while Ulfring still hadn't progressed beyond the normal heavy but slow breathing that he always maintained in their sparring matches.

For several long moments Isolda simply sat there, gasping, and when he was seemingly satisfied with her state Ulfring gently said; "I believe that that's enough for one day." As was his way, Isolda's mentor reached a hand down to help her up, and after spending another moment remembering how to breath she reached up and took the offered hand. Ulfring yanked the young woman up to her feet so easily that she might have been made of straw, and Isolda uncharacteristically stumbled at the sudden pull despite having been fully expecting it, her body still not quite up to full strength after having had the breath crushed out of her. For a moment her body was pressed up against Ulfring's much larger frame, the difference in size between him and the teenage Isolda something that would lessen over the course of her stay in his home but now something that was certainly very pronounced. It was at once comforting and arousing, the latter prominent emotion coming from the fact that this was weeks after she had first been inviting to share the bed of he and his wife, a move initially made not by him but by Fritha but that everyone had taken to quite enthusiastically.

Isolda was certainly glad for it. Sex had been a thing that she had been secretly frightened of before, a mysterious need that the young girl growing up on her own on the streets of Elynsor city had not experienced personally but that everyone older than she had seemed to possess. More than once boys who had thought themselves stronger than she had attempted to take it from her, but at no other time had the pale street urchin fought more viciously, and more than once she had left them dead or dying for their ambitions. It had been her propensity for violence, the first of her lusts to develop, that Isolda had used to ward them at bay as she and her potential attackers grew, as she had been lucky and skilled enough to avoid attention from older men whom she might not so easily overpower, and Isolda hadn't thought much of the subject since then as her reputation on the streets, growing skill in the art of violence, and her own careful maneuverings had mostly protected her from further unwanted advances. Ulfring and Fritha had changed her attitude on that entirely, however. They had at all times treated her with often unreasonable kindness, a rarity to be found in the harsh world that she had lived in, much less the harsher environments of Grem, and that kindness had transferred to their introduction of Isolda to their bedroom. Her first time had been almost painless despite the bulk possessed by her first partners, an unusual circumstance judging by what little she had been told, and whether that was courtesy of the voidic blood that she knew of but hadn't mentioned or simply because of their tenderness with her, or perhaps a combination of both, Isolda did not know for sure.

What she did know, however, was that it had sparked an appetite in her from that point on, and she had gone eagerly to any opportunity presented to her to join in their bedroom antics from that point onward. Even when she was excluded - an event that she had initially viewed with some bitterness but that she was starting to get over - Isolda had listened in secret and seen to herself with their noises as a backdrop, but she found that such was never nearly as satisfying as the real thing. Ulfring and Fritha had already begun to teach the developing teenager their tricks in that regard, and Isolda had learned with her characteristic enthusiasm even greater than what she used for her combat skills. The reading of body language as instilled by the version of the Mulweissen style of swordcraft that her mother had taught her the basics of had been surprisingly useful in that front, and just then as she and Ulfring were pressed together it kicked in. It, and something else.... Something new.

Isolda didn't know it, but a flash of red briefly appeared in her eyes as her body, still maturing, developed portions of itself that she would only come to understand much later. A shift in the natural pheromones emitted from her skin occurred, a change that would forever be tied into her emotional state as her body began to release chemicals that would innately affect everyone around her, bringing them lust or terror or fury as she desired and as their own personalities demanded they respond to those enforced chemical messages. They were weaker now than they would be, but Ulfring was familiar already with young Isolda, and one brief whiff was all that it took to begin the process of exciting the man. Isolda herself, not unaware of her change but certainly not understanding its consequences, stood against his chest gazing up to meet her mentor's sky blue eyes as she lightly chewed her lip. Just like any woman of that age, Isolda was a walking bag of uncontrolled hormones, and that her heritage included both elven and human in addition to the voidic blood that she considered her primary heritage likely didn't help matters. Such ensured that her feelings were as difficult to control as they were for anyone else of her age at the very least, and her worry was soon half-buried under a rush of attraction that seemed entirely out of place given their situation. She shouldn't be feeling such things now! It was right after training, after she'd been practically flogged for her inability to best the stronger man! She should be... Angry! Or tired! Not..... Well, certainly not getting aroused at the idle imaginings of what they might use the rest of their free time for! After all, Fritha was away gathering the herbs that produced the medicines necessary in case one of them took ill or was injured, and wouldn't be back for some time yet. She had never done anything with Ulfring without the older woman's presence to guide her, and Isolda wasn't willing to try and push the boundaries of the first home she'd had since she was just a little girl...

But the brief intense look that her mentor gave her before he pulled back was telling of an unspoken desire of his own, one born of primal yearnings that were deeper and older than those of the conscious mind and the fidelity that it might try to enforce, and the prospect of it excited Isolda even though she was too inexperienced then to truly understand it. "Come on... Lets go inside, warm up, and get lunch going. Fritha will be back soon," Ulfring said, and the reverie of emotions that Isolda had become lost in snapped immediately, prompting her to nod silently and follow him as he proceeded into their modest dwelling. Ulfring was a man of many talents, and in addition to the tanning hut for furs, the icebox and smokehouse for preserving food, the small shack built around the well, and the outhouse built to accommodate the body's more base needs, he had a small forge built into the side of the house. He most often used it to work the metals that he found in the shallow caves and one the surface near his home, as well as those that he traded for down in the town that stood three or four days walk away if he couldn't take what he needed from the land. At some point he had learned secrets from a Deunic smith who had mastered a method of working steel to make stronger blades than the more common techniques utilized by Gremic smiths, and his forge had been specially made to make use of those secrets such that his workings were highly prized, though he rarely devoted much of his time to them as far as Isolda could tell. Still, it was a skill, and Isolda often pondered asking to learn it after he had put her through the paces of learning Hardtslag style that he himself practiced.

Stepping inside, Isolda entered the cabin and shook off the light dusting of snow that she had accumulated on her buckskin clothing and peeled off the outermost layer. The wilds of Grem, particularly up in the mountains as they were, did not suffer those who could not cope with the cold for very long, and even indoors it was necessary to remain more covered than Isolda had been used to growing up largely in the more temperate region of Elynsor. Her training necessitated some use of thinner clothing than long term exploration outdoors might require, but adrenaline at least took the edge off of the cold, and she was quickly beginning the final stages of acclimation. It was certainly more bearable now than it had been when she had first arrived in Grem, searching aimlessly for the legacy of nothing that her mother had left her with, and she was most definitely more prepared for it now that she'd had Ulfring and Fritha's mentoring. Even if left on her own, the scene that had brought Isolda to live in their home would not repeat itself, she was confident enough of that as she pulled the scarf she wore from around her neck to coil it around a rack instead, and then the thick, triple-layered jacket that she wore over her thinner indoor clothes was placed alongside it. One didn't take off one's boots unless you were going to sleep in Grem, and so those remained on after stomping off the snow and wiping away the mud on the soles before striding out into the room.

Isolda shut the door against the wind and the snow and the cold while Ulfring stepped inside, gesturing at the fireplace and causing the soft embers to flare by the skilled application of a fire gate. Everyone in Grem needed to learn some semblance of fire magic if they wanted to survive the cold, but Ulfring, as a swordsman of the Hardtslag tradition, was particularly adept at controlling the flames that he could conjure. Their fires were often stacked such that a re-ignition of the embers would light new portions placed alongside it, and after some filling in a decent flame was burning, providing the room with a bit of welcome warmth. "A storm is coming tonight. It'll be cold," he said in his usual quiet and calm tone while poking at the logs, shifting them into place so that they would burn better. Isolda, who had seen the clouds gathering and felt the winds outside as well, did not disagree and did not feel any need to comment on Ulfring's observation, so she simply kept silent and stared at his back. The pale young woman was quick to learn at many things, a natural aptitude and her own eagerness for skills that would help her survive a world that she saw as unbelievably harsh ensuring that she was quick to pick up tricks in most trades, though she had mastered few things the way a more dedicated practitioner might. One thing that she found that she simply could not gain any skill in despite her honest efforts was the cooking of decent food, however. She could make things edible, mind, but no matter what she tried she could never get them to be palatable, much less as tasty as Fritha and Ulfring seemed able to. She had resigned herself to her lack of cooking skills by convincing herself that it was an art that one grew adept at with practice, and thus generally remained quietly in the background or followed their instructions when it came time to cook their meals.

(Will continue writing this part out as I get the time/energy to do so, but I do intend to finish it! Eventually.)
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Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World part 11, Hank vs Sims

Tass: Hank's responsibilities were, at that point, entirely his to pursue. He had a naga and a demon to feed, and a small tribe of a half dozen female goblins who were semi loyal to him. He had called the merchant and sold some things, collected his hundred denarii reward from work, and upgraded Destiny. He still had a number of things, including that strange amulet that he hadn't shown to anyone yet and the goblin alchemists' book, and his rent was growing increasingly expensive due to having so many with him at the inn.

MAF: Destiny had the full of his attention for so long. Perhaps that was what led him to a bit of oversight. After throwing riches her way, making her more deadly, and even makin' her shine again... Only when he noticed his pockets developing a metaphorical hole did he come to realize. He was gettin' tired, a little too hyped up on all the killin'. Even the wicked need to rest for a while. Thus, he found himself in a bit of a terrible situation. He could keep killin' for money, but there's the thing... It could get boring. That thought was fairly enough, the only thing he feared. He was terrified that murder would cease to be entertaining. In his opinion, someone not smiling while covered in blood just didn't know how to live. He didn't want to become like one of those people. He had to find a way. The bills were too high, and Hank was sad to admit... He was as much a romantic as anyone else. He did enjoy every last piece of ass he had the pleasure of experiencing. Didn't want to let it go. There had to be a way...

MAF: While sitting on the edge of the bed, Hank thought to himself. It was an interesting experience. He didn't think much. He felt his time could be better spent hunting for the next thing to turn into red mist. Or blue mist. He saw blue blood once. He wasn't the one to draw it, but he had a bit of a fantasy about doing so. Something mystical about killing something with such a color of blood... Alas, he was getting sidetracked. He had to go somewhere, where the bills aren't so high. He got dressed, and unless stopped by those in his room, went out in search of a notice board, or perhaps that fallen angel might know somethin. He needed a new location... And it felt rather odd to be looking for something of the sort. Hank realized... He was looking for his first home. He wasn't quite sure what to think about that. Does having a home mean you can't go out and kill? He sure as hell hoped not. He'd have to ask about that too.

Tass: Homes for rent, sadly, did not have any signs indicating houses for sale. There were a few notes about places for rent, but most were no less expensive than his current accommodations, and besides one that was requesting a male sex slave for a succubus none of them held any interesting appeal. The trip to his work, in turn, would give Hank an opportunity to see Peggy once more, her stomach now flat and her outfit unmussed. "Hello Hank! Looking for something?" she would say brightly, offering him a wave.

MAF: Spending time with a succubus sounded fun, but Hank liked to be on top sometimes too. Plus, Hank came to find that 'slave' means he can't go for a murder walk on a whim. That's a huge minus. So, he ended up seeing Peggy. "Hey Peggy, what happened to Bobby? Our kid." he inquired with a chuckle.

Tass: "He's at home~" she said simply, "I have a bit more maternity leave to play with, but I'm using it gradually so I can spend some time with him."

MAF: "Yer raisin' him?" Hank inquired. "Shit, ya didn't say anythin to me. Then again, I don't make myself easy to find, heh." he grunted. "Anyway, pumpkin, I was thinkin' of finding a place better to live in than a glorified wooden box. Here to see if that fallen angel might know anythin'."

Tass: "Kay, she's free right now!" Peggy said, smiling still. "Good luck! Property's easy enough to find, but you'll usually have to clean it out. If she can't help you, you might want to try the Acheron Building's and Properties Authority. They're downtown, near the palace."

MAF: "Atta girl," Hank said with a grin, before taking a kiss and a squeeze from Peggy if she didn't refuse it, before heading into the fallen angel's office, his expression changing somewhat as he remembered that he could not go an expedition into her cavern. He could play with her titties though. He definitely wanted to do that again. "Knock-knock," Hank said, walking into the room without knocking.

Tass: Hank would walk in to find the fallen angel who provided most of his money sitting behind her desk, her legs splayed and both hands below the point where he could no longer see. Despite her visible flush, however, the woman glared at Hank, and when she spoke a moment later her voice was completely steady and sour; "Yes? Peggy has our list of jobs at the moment, we're not holding any contracts that you're qualified for."

MAF: Hank's eyebrows rose at the sight of her flush. "... Want any help with that?" he offered, trying to sound as much like a gentleman as he could, despite his choice of words. "I'm also lookin' fer a new place to live. I've kinda got a shitload of people now, and I ain't got the bank to pay."

Tass: "With what?" she replied flatly, and a moment later her hands were folded up on her desk, completely clean. "What do I look like, a realtor? This is Acheron, more than half of the city is still uninhabited. Go find a place that you like that's empty, clean it out, and then go downtown and ask the proper authorities for the right to the deed."

MAF: "Nevermind, seems like you already got help." He chuckled at seeing the state of her hands. "Is that how this place works? Heh, that's handy. What if I like a place that someone already lives in? Can I kill em and ask for the rights?"
Tass: "No. If you take a house where someone has legitimately authorized claims, you'll be arrested for murder at worst, and declared a squatter like those goblins at best."

MAF: "Damn," Hank replied with a twist of his lips. "Well, I want the biggest place around here. Or the equivalent. Or bigger than the equivalent. Know of anythin', while I'm here?"
Tass: "The biggest place available would likely be a warehouse, a factory, or a manner. Most of the factories have been claimed by the city itself for materials production, however, so you'd be better off looking for a manor. They're scattered throughout the city, but make sure that you don't try to take one that somebody already owns."

MAF: Hank laughed at that last bit. He figured the angel had nothing more to offer, or would be willing to offer, given that she was having fun. So, Hank turned, and waved at the angel. "Gotcha. I'll knock first!" he said jokingly, chuckling as he left, but spared a moment for Peggy. "Hold the thought on the kid. I got an idea, see." was all he explained, before setting out. He wondered if what he really wanted was a manor. Somehow, that just didn't seem very... Hank. Yes, that was the best way to put it. It wasn't Hank. Still, he'd look around the city... Surely there was somethin' available that did well to tell someone passing by that the owner happens to be a murderer.

Tass: There were, despite the preference that more powerful demons seemed to have for more lavish homes as he would find shortly, a number of large manors still available for Hank. There were small wooden ones, surrounded by comforting and welcoming wooden fences. There were brick manors that looked more made for a person looking for something practical. Last of all, Hank would find a single unclaimed manor that was made of stone, its visage fearsome with gargoyles standing on the castle-like stone walls, and its black iron fence appearing bloody with the rust showing on portions of it. There were only a few windows, none on the first floor save one directly on either side of the door, which itself was made of solid oak and had the leering face of some demonic creature as its knocker.

MAF: Hank scratched his slightly unshaven beard. He brought Destiny with him, as he always did, while shopping for a new house. There was a welcoming wooden house. "Too burnable." Hank said to it, knowing he'd set it on fire. There was a practical brick house. "Boring." Really too normal. Then, there was that last manor. Gargoyles, bloody iron fence, and demon oak doors. "... I guess it'll do." Hank sighed. He'd have to see if he couldn't spice this place up with more evil. Just looked mildly disturbing at the moment. So, to check to see if anyone lived here, Hank would proceed up to the door, and open it without knocking. "Knock-knock."

Tass: The door opened into a dark, empty foyer, ruined furniture and bloodstains the only things that welcomed him. The door had been smashed in before he'd arrived, and at least the lock would need to be replaced or repaired, but the address had still been visible from the street, the carved and painted metal letters fully intact. Inside, he saw a set of double doors up ahead, their glass broken and scattered across the ground. Past them was another room too dark for him to see into, but which might hold something else of greater interest. Alternatively, he could head on upstairs, the grand stone staircase leading up to the manor's second floor over on the right.

MAF: It was just a tour. The place was a mess, needed cleaning up. He decided to clear the first floor first, get an idea of the basic layout of the house and possible additions he could make. Past the double doors in front, he'd go.

Tass: The doors up front opened out into a darkened dining room with a closet over on the left, the stones walls covered in paintings and tapestries rather than windows, with a smashed bookshelf and an empty fireplace also present in the room. There was a sliding door that had been torn down on the right, and back out in the entrance hall he had seen a small door hidden between the wall and the staircase. The sliding door led into the kitchen, which was so bloody that it had no doubt been the scene of a murder at some point, and attached to it was a door leading out into the back yard of the grand stone house, as well as another door leading into a pantry that smelled of rot.

MAF: "This room looks a bit better." Hank notes at the broken bookcase. "I hate books. Good taste." He said, thinking that he'll keep the broken bookcase to declare to guests how he feels about paper with glyphs written on it. But nevermind all that, he had more murder mansion to explore. So, he went through the kitchen, took in the smell of rot, and just to speak about the kind of person he is, enjoyed it. Smelling blood enough has a way of turning you into a bit of a warped person. This was why Hank always seemed to get along with doctors. He'd inspect the kitchen a bit before checking out the garden, and the rest of the building for that matter, if all there was to see was the remains of a ruined building. The finer details would be lost to the man, he only cared for the basics, and what needed to be done.

Tass: The garden was overgrown with weeds and the like, with only a single blackberry bush standing out as something that would produce anything edible. Checking the rest of the house, the small door next to the stairs was locked, while the second floor had a number of bedrooms and a library as well as stairs leading up further. The third floor had more bedrooms, including one built like a barracks, a small shrine to some god that Hank likely wouldn't recognize, and a spiral staircase leading up yet further. In the attic, he would find a large storage space that contained a small field of bones, most of them humanoid in nature judging by the skulls present.

MAF: "Well, found my relaxation room." Hank grunted at the sight of all the bones. The second and third floors were handy for space, though this whole mansion was missing something rather important. Hank needed a Hank room. A room where there was lots of space to have orgies with participants that could range into the dozens. A large series of bedrooms? Perhaps that room with the shrine could be renovated, beginning with throwing that statue down the stairs and replacing it with a bed and other things to aid with having sex. "I'll need to see if I can't clean this place up..." He'd have to see if the goblins could do it. He'd of course thank them with his dick, but they'd likely want something more than a fierce pounding. He'd have to deal with that as it came. Regardless, the next few steps would be tedious. Getting to someplace to purchase some additions to his new home, and getting the goblins to help clean up, or some other help if they weren't willing. He'd also see about getting a deed for the property before doing all of this.

Tass: Going to the offices he'd been pointed at would provide a deed for the building for 10 denarii, so long as he remembered the address. Furniture stores were actually fairly scarce in Acheron, but Hank would be able to purchase whatever he needed for varying costs, depending entirely on what he wanted to buy. The goblins would require no bribery, being loyal to him implicitly as they recognized him as their chieftain, and would proceed to go forth to help him clean up the house however he wanted. The whole place was a mess, however, all of the bedding rotten and useless and much of the other furniture likewise needing replacement and disposal. There was also no food to speak of, and cleaning out the kitchen and pantry would take much work that no one wanted to do. How he organized his half-dozen assistants was up to him, however. The succubus and naga would plop down in the living room and whine about the poor conditions.

MAF: During the acquisition of this new living space, Hank would for the first time look serious to anyone else who'd seen him. Since everything was garbage, Hank said to toss it out like garbage. Wherever it would work for that matter. He'd tell the goblins to burn it on the stone if there was no proper place to put it so that they could enjoy a nice bonfire of filth, while he'd inquire about how much it'd cost to get basic bedding and seating throughout the house along with a rather nice love bed in the shrine room following Hank taking a bit of measures to inquire if any demon wanted to buy whatever it was. It would hopefully help him pay for the furniture. He'd already forked over 10 denarii, which was nice, but there was still food as an issue. The kitchen was a mess, and it seemed the goblins didn't want to do it. "Either of you know any spells to get rid of all that nasty stuff in the kitchen? It smells nice, but not edible." Hank grunted, speaking to the naga and succubus.

Tass: "Nope~" both succubi would say at once as they idled about, the naga now curled around the demoness for warmth. Fully furnishing the building would cost quite a bit, simple chairs costing about 3 denarii apiece while actually comfortable ones could cost anywhere from 5 to 12 each depending on how comfortable he wanted them. Simplistic bedding for his goblins and other women would cost a total of 40 denarii, with a large bed for the room he would take as his own costing 10 denarii by itself. When they tried to move the shrine, however, Hank would find it completely impossible to move, no matter how hard he and his goblin companions tried to pull the stone shrine from its base. The cleaning of the rest of the house went well enough, at least, as the ruined furniture was hauled outside and burned quickly enough.

MAF: Going over all of what he'd have to do and add would be tough, and the kitchen was a problem that was quickly becoming an annoyance. He quickly decided he wanted someone else to take care of all of this for him. He knew just the person that could do it as well. Going back to his 'workplace' as it were, Hank made his way inside to see if Peggy was still around. If she was, he'd lay out the gist of his plan. "Hey pumpkin, I'm investin' in this big place, see? You good with numbers and the like? I'd like fer ya to live there, bring the kids, heh. Let em meet papa Hank."

Tass: "I already have a place to live, and don't particularly want to move out of it. Sorry~ If you want to hire me for accounting though, it's 5 denarii a day, or 1 denarius and letting me feed off of you. If you'd rather have a live in accountant, I know a girl who's looking for a job after she lost her last one."

MAF: "Sure, I'll take that one. And you should know yer always welcome, sweetheart~" Hank winked.

Tass: "Her name's Hanna, and she's over at this bar..." Following Peggy's instructions, Hank would find himself facing a skinny girl with pale blue skin, who would announce the cost of 1 denarius per day if food and lodging were provided. She was, as it turned out, not a succubus despite being a demon, and looked at him fairly flatly through the whole of their conversation with no apparent interest in having sex with him. Whether or not he chose to hire her, Hank would return to the mansion to find the goblins standing around a large bonfire in the lawn, the assortment of destroyed furniture being taken care of finally.

MAF: The lack of sex apparent in her facial expression broke his otherwise accepting attitude. "Heard you lost yer last job. What for?" he inquired.

Tass: "Refusing to have sex with my boss."

MAF: "Why's that?" he grunted.

Tass: "Because I didn't want to. I don't want to have sex with you either."

MAF: "Yer words cut deep." Hank said with a serious expression.

Tass: "I'm a professional. I shouldn't need to use my cunt to practice my profession."

MAF: "Maybe not, but it's fun."

Tass: "Not with men like you."

MAF: "No fun with humies?"

Tass: "No. Douchebags."

MAF: "Hey now, I ain't never harassed you... That I can remember."


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

More Hank

Tass: "Please. You raped me with your eyes as soon as you walked in... Me and every woman in the room. I can put up with that, so long as you don't lay a hand on me or miss a payment."

MAF: "Yer good lookin', people are gonna look at what's good, sweetheart. And I don't much care for the whole rape thing. Tried it once, wasn't any fun at all and I ended up quitting halfway through cuz I lost all interest. Sex is a lot more fun when the girl enjoys it, yeah?" he said, purely on a conversational note. He was still recovering a bit from her immediate rejection.

Tass: "Yes. And that's fine. I simply won't be enjoying it with you."

MAF: So, there he had it. 1 denarius for either a sexless smurf 1 coin for the definition of sex. The choice was quickly becoming clear for him, but there was one more thing. "... You good at killin'?" he inquired, feeling their conversation was close to finished.

Tass: "I am a firemage."

MAF: "Not what I asked." Hank grumbled. "Good at it? Enjoy it?"

Tass: "I can set groups of people on fire by looking at them. So... Yes, I am good at it. As for enjoying it, not particularly. Unless they deserve it."

MAF: Hank grumbled for a moment. "Guess yer one of those 'good people'. Not exactly what ol' Hank is lookin' for." He chuckled, before slamming his hand down on the table near her, laying down what would essentially pay for her current drink at the bar, before leaving himself, having indulged in a drink as well, and paid for it along with her's. Back to Peggy, to inform her that the job was her's.

Tass: "Bye then," she replied, and then off he went. Peggy simply nodded at his announcement that he had the job, and where he went from there would be up to him.

MAF: "So... That blue chick was somethin' else. Little too dry fer my tastes." He said idly to Peggy. "So, what I basically want is an idea of how much it's gonna cost for a nice set up. All things included," he'd say, mentioning the basic furnishings, the kitchen, and his love bed for future orgies.

Tass: "Well.... I'd need a floor plan or a tour, so I'll come over later once I'm off work to pick up my first day's pay and look around, assuming that you don't have the building plans with you."

MAF: "Nah, no plans. I'll give ya the tour though." he offered with a bit of a stretch, a part of him wanted all of this done and over with as soon as possible, but that was only to get on his feet. After that, he could start making the mansion seem more like his lair, a kind of place you'd expect to see demons, nagas, and goblins. With that, he'd flirt with Peggy a bit more, kisses and fondling included, before heading back to his home to join in the bonfire, acquiring some meat along the way to feed the girls and himself by roasting it.

Tass: A big hunk of beef would cost him six denarii, and would feed the whole of his assembled harem for the day. Peggy would arrive some time later, clad now in more casual clothes, and if given the tour would leave the still-locked basement out of her calculations and assess the cost of furnishing the whole house, including what he'd make for selling the library's contents, as about 30 denarii for simplicity, and 100 for making the place seem lavish. She would recommend hiring a service to clean out the kitchen and pantry, which would cost an additional 10 denarii if he chose to do it.

MAF: He'd have to sell some of his alchemical reagents to do this, but he could pay for everything. "Here," Hank said casually, putting the money in Peggy's hand. "Take care of it, I'll treat ya later." he promised. He just realized he overlooked the basement. Walking over to the basement doors, he'd take Destiny, and promptly attempt to blow the lock off. Firing his gun always helped his patience.

MAF: (Hank gives Peggy 110 denarii to pay for the lavish decorations, all themed around the color black to start, and anything rather menacing looking. Also, 10 denarii for the cleaning crew.)
MAF: (He'd also sell off the 30 denarii's worth of alchemy ingredients.)

Tass: (mkay)

Tass: "Okay!" Peggy said happily, taking the money and heading off to see to his business. After that, Hank went to the basement door, took aim with Destiny, fired presumably his boomer barrel... And had the cannon shot rebound and smack him in the face, knocking him on his ass while robbed of most of its force. It still hurt quite a bit, however, and Hank would feel blood running down his face from his freshly shattered nose while a pair of goblins would run in to see whether or not he'd been injured.

MAF: Not the boomer shot, just a regular shot, though the rebound from that still hurt. "I'm alright..." Hank grumbled. THEN he used the boomer shot. Got laid out. "I'm not alright." Hank growled, before getting up to his feet in a rage. "The fuck is with that door!?" Hank growled. "Who the fuck do you think you are, door!?" he yelled at it, firing several bolts at the door.

Tass: The bolts rebounded off, one of them hitting Hank in the thigh and digging in, while another hit a goblin in the arm and went right through, causing both Hank and the goblin a great deal of pain and to bleed profusely. Now with a broken nose, a chest full of shot that his armored clothes had thankfully partially blocked, and now with a bolt through his thigh, Hank was badly wounded and had made not even a dent in the door. He did see, however, that the door wasn't the thing blocking him, as the slower bolts were seen bouncing off without touching the wood.

MAF: "My bad." Hank said in reply to the female goblin getting shot. "So, it's magic..." Hank growled. Looking to the house, he called out. "Hey, you two know of any healin' magic?" he inquired to the naga and succubus. "... And door magic?"

Tass: "Nope~" Meanwhile, the goblin would howl as her companion yanked the bolt out, and then started applying pressure to the wound to limit the bleeding. Another goblin would come in to apply the same unpleasant tending to Hank if he didn't stop her.

MAF: Hank wouldn't move and let her do her work. If it didn't get better with their aid, guess he'd need a doctor too. Hopefully not a sexless smurf doctor. He decided he didn't like those. He'd grit his teeth as she ripped the bolt out, not moving much to prevent it from twisting around inside. "I'm gonna bust open that door... Just need to break that magic." He hummed.

Tass: The bleeding was stopped.... Mostly. A bit of real medical attention likely wouldn't hurt, however, and when she came back Peggy would suggest much the same, and remark that Hanna would have been able to see to the injuries they'd taken if she had been here. How he wanted to try and break down the magic guarding the door was his business, but Peggy would announce that night was falling, and that the bedding would be arriving shortly, while the cleaning crew would arrive the next morning to see to the kitchen.

MAF: "Who?" Hank replied in regards to the name Hanna. While Peggy suggested yet another skill that would be useful, Hank just couldn't see him and the woman getting along. To Hank, the business he was running here was his big happy evil family, and the blue woman (he immediately forgot her name) didn't exactly fit into the 'team' as it were. Go Team Hank. She wouldn't be there for that rally. Or perhaps she would if she was paid, and likely not so especially if he came back from committing mass genocide, a popular idea in Hank's mind at all times. Still... "You said she ain't got a place to live, right?" Hank sighed. He was a mass murderer, but he wasn't completely devoid of a heart.

Tass: "She used to live where she worked, so.... Not currently, no. She's living at an inn."

MAF: "I'll be goin' then. I'll be back though, to give you yer full payment." Hank winked at Peggy, before inquiring as to where Hanna would be, likely the inn, before going over to meet the dry blue thing.

Tass: She would indeed be at the inn as far as Hank knew, and while the guards would grimace slightly at the sight of his bloodied self, the blue demon would sigh at the sight of him and say; "Let me guess... Peggy knew you'd need regular medical attention?"

MAF: "That ain't why I'm here." Hank replied. "If I wanted a medical person, I'd get one with nice big titties and a disposition that aroused me... I just happened to hear of yer case. You can stay at my place until ya get situated. I'll hire ya for whatever services I need at the time, but consider this temporary at best. On top of being someone who rapes you with my eyes and a man with a fine taste for blood, I also practice bein' a good samaritan as a hobby. Take the offer or don't, it's a free place to live, and I figure you'll need the help."

Tass: "Okay." she said simply, and then cast a spell that healed the poorly dressed wounds he'd taken from his own gun.

MAF: "... Now, we made no agreement for me to pay for that." Hank grumbled.
Tass: "Nope. I'll see you at your place~" she said simply, and then walked past him and out.

MAF: Hank stood there, in total silence. He wasn't amazed, surprised, or lost in thought. He only waited to see where she was going, before saying aloud, after she'd gone out. "I didn't tell her where I lived. I should go do that." he said, before heading out and seeing to that she knew where his place was, unless she knew already beforehand, in which case, he would be suspicious of her. But like all of Hank's thoughts, it doesn't remain in the stasis of simply being a thought, and would quickly come out in questions.

Tass: She had already known beforehand, told by Peggy while she'd been out with the bustier demon's intent that she ought to reconsider her position on sex should she grow desperate for employment. Hanna delivered such an explanation fairly derisively.

MAF: "Sex without enjoyment ain't worth it. Murder is the way to go." Hank said flatly. "Something somewhere needs to get killed, doesn't matter if yer even a fuckin' saint. Unwanted things get born that need to die constantly, so fer me, that's job security." he chuckled. But then, the issue of the door came to mind. Perhaps she'd know something about it, and since she seemed to know more than he'd reckon, he fetched through his bag for a moment. That amulet. Seemed interesting enough, and since it might be magical, she might know something about it. Taking it out, he showed it to her. "Any idea what this is? Found it while slaughtering goblins, and having sex. Roughly at the same time."

Tass: "Why am I not surprised? Were you having sex with the dead.... Wait.... Where.... Where did you find this?" Hanna replied, initially sardonic and now suddenly paled and surprised.

MAF: "Tried having sex with the dead too. Oddly similar to rape. Not pleasant." he said bluntly. "Found this in some tall building a bunch of loafin' goblins occupied. Why?"

Tass: "But... You.... You need to go... And see the queen," Hanna replied, obviously shaken. She would then point to the crest of Acheron on the chest of a guard, and there Hank would see... A mark identical to the one that was on the amulet.

MAF: "Is she fine?" Hank inquired, he didn't quite seem to follow what the blue girl was talking about. "Though correct me if I'm wrong... Wouldn't this involve politics? Politics is worse than murder, you know."

Tass: "Just.... Uhhhhh....Just, show it to a palace guard. There will probably be money involved."

MAF: "Money! Whoo!" Hank cheered, before approaching a guard. "Hey, bucket head. Check out this amulet. Gimme money."
MAF: "Wait, no. Fuck you. Take me to the queen, whoever that is. She'll have more money than you."

Tass: "That... You..." Hanna stuttered, while the guard looked dubiously at Hank for a moment before simply saying; "That'd be downtown, sir. Tis along the main road, you can find it on your own."

MAF: "C'mon, smurf!" Hank beckoned to the blue girl, a bit excited now, before off they went, to the downtown district...


Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Isolda flashback 1, continued.

This time, however.... "Go out to the storage shed and grab a rabbit. You're making stew," Ulfring said commandingly, and Isolda didn't make any effort to hide her surprise, but also didn't offer any complaint either. The short trip didn't necessitate her added clothing, so she simply steeled herself for the cold and hurried out to reach the small stone hut that served as Ulfring and Fritha's primary larder. It was well secured against elements and intruders, be they animal or man, but Isolda had grabbed the key from the key ring as she had walked out and quickly stepped inside. Grabbing a frozen rabbit carcass plus a handful of vegetables and fruits that she thought might be appetizing together, Isolda quickly closed it and locked the underground storage back up before heading back into the warmer domicile. Shaking away the leftovers of the outdoors once more, she found Ulfring reclining in a chair by the fire, and he didn't even glance her way as she walked in. Taking that as a sign that this was a test, Isolda set about preparing the meal as best she could in silence, leaving the stores she'd taken to thaw as she went about gathering some tools that she would need, dishware and a kettle. Next came a trip out to the well, and when she came back and wiped away the effects left by the outdoors Isolda quickly set about preparing the assortment in order of how they thawed out. First the berries she'd taken, sour and bitter things that Friga often used to make tougher meats soft, and then the trio of gathered vegetables that she had chosen at random. Dumping those into the water save for the berries, Isolda took the half-thawed rabbit carcass next and carefully cut it into measures that would thaw more quickly, the animal having already been skinned and gutted.

The process passed in silence as Ulfring rocked back and forth, peering into the fire, but unbeknownst to either of them a subtle effect was taking place in the man's body. Isolda's pheromones were weak then, yes, but that did not necessarily make them impotent. Their effects merely took longer and produced more subtle results, and time was certainly something that the pale warrior had in regards to Ulfring. Those same pheromones would one day bring men like Ciran and Renan to their knees with a near-addiction like effect when she portrayed her sexuality to them, but now they worked upon a man of stronger stuff than those she had met in Havenport.

It was also a man who was openly attracted to her, however, and despite his age Ulfring was still a very virile specimen, and that he knew the pleasures that her body could bring quite intimately allowed her pheromones to slowly turn his thoughts to lust even as he stared into the fire that he had built. Though under normal circumstances he wouldn't allow himself to be so distracted by his thoughts, her presence was unusually alluring, and even if it wasn't something that he would normally do, perhaps.... Well, it had been Fritha's will that they bring Isolda into their bed, had it not? Even as roughspun as she was, Isolda was certainly pretty enough to attract his interest; youth and energy and strength forming an alluring combination for the aging swordsman, and in secret he watched her as she obeyed his commands and set about preparing a meal that promised to be as unpleasant as any of her efforts. Too many competing tastes would mix into a thin broth that would do little to improve the bland, stringy meat of the rabbit. At least she had remembered the berries this time, and he had ordered her to go for the rabbit for that very reason anyway, so it wasn't like they were losing anything of particular worth to the girl's amateur efforts at cooking.

Fritha was younger than he too, he mused even as he watched Isolda with growing lust. By over twenty years, in fact, and Isolda wasn't that much younger than his wife. Was she? Ulfring himself, in his early fifties now, had married Fritha when she had barely been older than Isolda, though that had been over a decade ago. Though she was now in her thirties, Fritha had lost none of her appeal to Ulfring, not in the physical sense despite a minor gain in stoutness and certainly not where his heart was concerned. Even so, he couldn't help but look upon the younger specimen before him with some small amount of lust, and such was a thing that Fritha had accepted and, quite wisely, ensured wouldn't become a threat to their relationship by accepting Isolda into that portion of their lives first herself.

It was only as he gazed at the young woman's backside as she bent over the fire that Ulfring admitted to himself that he was, at least for the moment, lusting after Isolda and only Isolda, and for several long moments as she gradually fed bits of mostly-thawed rabbit into the pot he pondered just what he was going to do about that. It wasn't a matter of betrayal that concerned him - Fritha had said outright after their first time with Isolda that she would hold no ill will against him for occasionally enjoying the young warrior on his own - but rather why it was occurring now, and why the urge was growing so strong so fast.

Isolda, in the meantime, had not missed the looks that Ulfring was sending her way despite all of his efforts at discretion, and had not misinterpreted them in spite of her own rising nervousness. That was why, rather than kneeling to tend to the pot, she was bending over beside the fireplace, allowing her long ivory hair to dangle down in a silk curtain beside her and mildly interfering in her task. The position was mildly less efficient, but her pheromones ensured that, rather than point that out as he normally would, Ulfring simply sat in his chair and admired her ass discretely. Isolda knew exactly where his eyes were, and she didn't even try to hide the fact that she liked the attention, at least not from herself. She gradually settled in such a way that the fabric of her trousers would be stretched just a little bit tighter against her taut backside than it normally might, as at that point Isolda's body hadn't filled out nearly as much as it eventually would. Her bottom was still pleasantly round and very alluring despite being much smaller than it would be once she hit full adulthood, however, and instinct dictated to Isolda how to shift so that her assets would be at their most appealing for her mentor's viewing pleasure. Even doing that little made her far more excited than her rational mind thought it ought to be, but as the minutes ticked by in relative silence both she and Ulfring were starting to abandon the use of their rational minds more and more.

Her hips slowly began to swerve back and forth, a subtle motion that she didn't realize that she was making initially but shamelessly continued when she did, an alluring motion that the already hypnotized Ulfrig couldn't help but watch. It was an effect that the young woman would eventually master without needing to make a motion more intense than a single shift of her weight and a look, at least against men of weak wills. Such might not have worked instantly against a man of her mentor's caliber even when she had begun to master the use of it, but even her weaker aura after it had first arisen would have been enough with the time she had, particularly in a man who had already tasted the pleasures that her body had to offer. It was certainly working on Ulfring now, and after a few moments of making her suggestive dance in front of him while stirring their lunch, the young warrior would glance back over her shoulder and smile at him through the silky curtain of her ivory hair. Butterflies started flitting around in Isolda's stomach as she looked back and saw the mystified expression on Ulfring's face and the bulge growing in his trousers.

Those butterflies kept her held in place for a moment, but that allowed Ulfring to slip from his spellbound state for a moment, but when their eyes met Isolda felt a sudden surge of bravery that caused her to slowly straighten. Ulfring looked a bit surprised for a moment, and as she stalked toward him he quietly and somewhat blankly grunted; "The pot needs stirring... Or the meat will settle and burn." Isolda didn't respond until she was right up beside her mentor, and half turned in order to gracefully slide down into his lap while saying; "It will be fine... We can let it sit for a few minutes."

The second half of her statement had been delivered in a slightly hoarse whisper, an amateur effort at the sultry posturing that she had been aiming for, but the earnestness of it was enough to silence her spellbound mentor, and despite the potentially crippling nervousness Isolda, seated facing in the same direction of her mentor, nuzzled herself deeper into him while tossing her hair aside, leaving no barrier between their lips which ultimately met a moment later. The position wasn't perfect, with Isolda's shoulder keeping their mouths from getting too deeply joined, but both parties to that kiss quickly closed their eyes and surrendered to the passions that Isolda's developing Voidic nature had managed to inspire. Though she had been the initiator in the kiss, Isolda quickly found herself becoming submissive as the arousal boiling through Ulfring's blood caused him to assume the more dominant role as he was used to, his tongue rolling around her smaller and more agile appendage with ease. She was still only learning the sexual arts, and while likely not a master by any stretch of the imagination Ulfring was fairly experienced in comparison, and a moment later he would prove it. The older man's hands began to roam slowly up Isolda nubile physique, one settling onto a hip and slowly teasing its way under the edge of her top while the other made a slow trail from her belly up to one of her at that point modest breasts.

The path up had had Isolda's back arching in anticipation, and once it was finished by that gentle grope the pale young woman gave a soft coo and arched even further, grinding her bottom into his erection in the process. Those slow, swaying hip motions continued alongside Ulfring's increasingly intense kneading of her soft breast, and soon enough the wanderer's nipples were visible through the thick fabric of her clothing. It was still fairly cold in the home that they all shared, but when Ulfring started using his other hand to slowly slide Isolda's shirt upwards she made no effort to resist it, and even gave a few louder encouraging coos into his mouth after it had cleared her midriff. Up and up it went, slowly but surely, until finally Isolda gave a gasp and a soft shiver as her top cleared her breasts and left the supple orbs exposed to the chill air and Ulfring's hands. The old warrior was quick to take advantage of that, leaving her shirt on but covering nothing for the moment as he applied both hands to tenderly administering her chest, and Isolda was quickly reduced to little more than putty in his hands as her lewd noises began to change from coos and grunts to soft moans. Her ass continued to grind against his erection, but both of them were still clothed down below and for the moment she was on the receiving end of most of the stimulation, ensuring that the already aroused wanderer was steadily growing more so as the moments ticked by. Ulfring was simplistic but effective in his efforts, rubbing his palms gently over her chest, squeezing the soft orbs, and occasionally giving one nipple and then the other a soft pinch followed either by a tug or a mild twist, and even the sometimes slightly painful motions that he did so rarely only served to make Isolda more aroused.

Isolda would only endure such teasing for a few minutes before it was time in her mind to progress further, and after a particularly rough twist that almost maid her squeal with pained delight she gently pulled away and ultimately stood up. Ulfring looked worried for a moment, thinking that he had gone a little too far, but when Isolda turned around and lifted her shirt off to be tossed aside, the mild cold not mattering so much against her Voidic constitution and arousal, and her eager expression quickly assuaged his concern. Despite her fairly intense personal arousal at that point, however, Isolda had something that she wanted to try before they got on to the main event, and with that in mind she dropped down to a kneeling position in front of the still seated Ulfring. He looked confused for a moment, but when Isolda quickly undid his pants and started sliding down his pants with that familiar eager look in her eye he got the message pretty quickly, and wasn't about to argue the point. He shifted to make pulling down his trousers easier, causing his rocking chair to creek slightly, and she pulled them down past his ankles in short order despite that her eyes were on his dick the moment that it popped free of his undergarments. Despite the chill air, Ulfring was fully hard and by all means well endowed, so large that even with her Voidic heritage and the natural sexual durability that it granted her, Isolda had barely been able to fit all ten inches of his thick length inside of her the first time that Fritha had invited her to share their bed.

Now she was about to engage in yet another first for her with her mentor, replicating a trick that she had seen Fritha use on her husband during a session a few nights prior. Between two younger women since Isolda had started joining them during their sexual escapades, the aging Ulfring was often able to do little more than hold his own despite that he was still more than capable of impressive vigor thanks to his intense training and difficult lifestyle, but that night Isolda had watched in amazement as, with nothing more than her mouth and her hands, Fritha had seemingly brought the powerful Ulfring completely under her sexual control in a matter of moments. Isolda had been fairly passive at the time, unsure of what to do, but that had only allowed Fritha to acquire and then maintain the entirety of her husband's full attention for the next twenty minutes, more than half of which were spent with Ulfring being teased at the edge of orgasm by his wife's skilled oral ministrations. It had been amazing to the young warrior to see the man, who normally had excellent stamina, brought in mere moments to the edge of orgasm and then held there until he had nearly been made to beg. When Fritha had finally allowed him his release, it had been the largest that Isolda had ever seen by almost half, and she had seen several impressive releases on Ulfring's part since the pair always avoided cumming inside for reasons that the inexperienced Isolda didn't yet actually know. What she did know, however, was that when Fritha had opted to share some of that bounteous load with Isolda to her husband's awe, she had found the taste and texture odd but not unpleasant, and had begun to desire a second taste of it in order to get more experience on which to base her developing opinion.

While she might have been jealous of that skill, Isolda was an ever curious sort, and a quick learner even when only observing techniques... And, as she was only just beginning to learn, always eager to experiment with sex. Taking Ulfring's length in her hand and stroking it, Isolda slowly leaned forward to give the tip of her teacher's manhood a soft kiss. Another soft kiss swiftly followed, her mouth opening further to take a portion of the domed head between her lips, and it was then that Isolda got her first taste of Ulfring's cock as her tongue flicked against the tip. She let out a coo of delight at the musky, heady taste with which she was greeted, a rough equivalent to the scent she had breathed in only a few moments earlier and one that she quickly found that she didn't dislike at all. Her lips parted and descended a little further, allowing her tongue to initiate its first awkward explorations of Ulfring's anatomy, and as she hadn't actually been able to see this part of Fritha's technique she didn't really know what she was doing. To his credit, Ulfring was patient with Isolda in those initial moments despite that his arousal cried out for better attention than she was presently offering, her inexperienced technique nothing at all compared to the abilities that had his wife possessed in the field of this particular pastime, and after a few moments of flicking her tongue in various ways Isolda began to apply herself somewhat more impressively. Her tongue began to roll around the tip, a motion that she would be able to do with ease both quickly and slowly within a few short years but one that she was still an amateur at now, and from there she experimented in finding the ways in which she could use her lingual muscle to its best effect on Ulfring's manhood.

Isolda's mouth began to descend gradually as she worked, a subconscious move that stopped once it was just shy of going down her throat, preventing her from gagging but allowing the upper quarter or so of his rod to bask in the warmth of her mouth while her tongue explored every part of it that she could reach. The young woman quickly found that the surface of Ulfring's tip and the rough veiny area that ran along the lower portion of his length were the places most sensitive to touch, and for the next several minutes Isolda refined her tongue-work to her mentor's ever-rising approval. About midway through that portion of her attentions Isolda's hand starting moving again, smoothly rising and falling along the portion of Ulfring's cock that was still out in the cold, much to the swordsman's delight. Another few moments later and Isolda's mouth began to rise and fall, mimicking Fritha's actions from a few nights ago as best she could, and even if she lacked the older woman's well-honed oral skills Isolda was still doing well enough to exhibit a pleased response from the man on whom she was experimenting. A hand gently cradled the pale young warrior's head a few moments into her bobbing, keeping a lock of her long hair away from the front of her face as she slowly but steadily took in inch after inch of his stiff rod. A few moments later Isolda got her first taste of precum when she paused to flick her tongue over the tip, eliciting another pleased coo from the wanderer and causing her to speed up her bobbing. Soon enough her stroking had moved to occur in time with the steady rise and fall of her head, her tongue dragging softly against the underside along both paths, and while it was fairly simplistic it was proving quite effective.

Ulfring might have been used to better blowjobs after being with Fritha for so long, but Isolda's amateur efforts were nothing to discount as far as he was concerned, and her inexperience at what she was doing was enticing in its own way. His hand began to urge her to take him deeper, and she complied immediately, suppressing her gag reflex with surprising ease and allowing his hardened rod into the pleasurable tightness of her throat. After another few minutes of steady bobbing, with changes in Isolda's tactics in slow shifts guided by the small noises that Ulfring made to convey his pleasure, always little more than wordless grunts despite her efforts, the old warrior could feel the early warning signs of his orgasm begin to crop up, the tightening of his sack as he prepared to find release and a further hardening of his already quite stiff cock in the young wanderer's mouth. "Mmmm... Ahhh, Is... Isolda!" he grunted in warning, but it wasn't necessary and what he would have said next was cut off by a groan of surprise. On some level Isolda had already recognized her mentor's impending release, and as it was something that she quite earnestly desired the last thing that she was going to do was slow down.

Quite the contrary, Isolda suddenly started bobbing her head quite a bit harder and faster, pushing Ulfring's cock another full inch down her throat just after his warning, and after another few moments her hand had to get out of way as she crammed the last few inches of the man's cock into her mouth. It was harder than she'd thought after watching Fritha do it, and caused tears to well up in her eyes as she had to try much harder to suppress her gag reflex, but Isolda couldn't help but let out a triumphant cry that came out as a lewd moan as she hung impaled on Ulfring's manhood. For several seconds Isolda hung there, looking up at Ulfring's face with teary eyes as he leaned his head back and reveled in the contractions produced by her throat trying to expel the intruding object, but then just as he was finally about to hit his tipping point Isolda could no longer stand the discomfort and slid back and off of his rod.

She came off coughing up spittle onto his already quite thoroughly saliva-coated cock, leaving her mentor's rod glistening as she tried to recover from her own efforts and leaving her mentor himself frustrated and pulling back from the very edge of release. However, though she might have been inexperienced, Isolda was far from blind, and upon noticing the frustrated look that had crossed Ulfring's features her voidic instincts took over. It would have been an easy task to continue right where she'd left off and let the old man finish in her mouth right then and there, but something about the look of angry need on her mentor's face, a look that she had only ever seen the man's wife bring to his weathered features, made Isolda's stomach flutter with excitement. So, rather than continue where she'd left off, the pale young warrior slipped her tongue out as she leaned forward, her dexterous oral appendage quickly pressing its warm wetness against the swiftly chilling shaft. She initially touched it right around the middle of the shaft and ran a single lick right up to the tip, the musky taste of her mentor's flesh causing a soft moan to slip subconsciously from between her lightly parted lips. Ulfring let out a groan as her tongue slid over his frenulum, the blood vessels pulsing beneath her touch, and as Isolda reached just under the rim of his domed tip a small dribble of precum issued from the slit and landed on her tongue before she could make any move to avoid it. The salty, musky, bitter taste was overpowering at first, and she nearly gagged as she reflexively brought her tongue back into her mouth, ensuring that the taste only grew stronger. It was quick to dissipate, at least, especially after she swallowed, but her first sampling of Ulfring's release had not been the pleasant taste that Fritha's apparent eagerness for it had suggested it would be.

That didn't stop her from continuing, however, as she was far too into her actions to put an end to her oral teasing now, especially once she glanced up through half-closed eyes and saw the strain on the face of the recipient of her attention. Isolda leaned further forward, her tongue against sliding forth to run a line up the underside of Ulfring's turgid rod, this time starting almost at the base and going a bit slower before, again following Fritha's examples, parted her lips a little further and sealed them over the tip. Suckling softly, her tongue swirled around the rounded dome, an action born of reflex, but while her technique was still amateur at best Isolda's actions still brought another soft groan from Ulfring. His knuckles had grown white on the hand that was left clutching the arm of his preferred chair, but the other moved from his thigh to caress Isolda's face, prompting her to coo and descended an inch or so down his shaft again, her tongue shifting from the tip back to the equally sensitive underside. A few seconds later she slid back until his length was released from her mouth with an audible pop, and then she leaned down and gave him another lick spanning from his base all the way back to his tip, which then quickly vanished back into the pale young woman's mouth as she descended an inch or so and began a slow bobbing motion while her tongue swirled. Though the stimulation wasn't as consistent as her earlier bobbing had been, Isolda's teasing was rapidly bringing the muscular man back towards his nearly aborted orgasm, and every few seconds she would get another taste of her mentor's precum as she licked over his tip. Much as she hadn't liked the first taste, however, Isolda quickly found herself able to stomach it more and more, though it wouldn't be for a few weeks yet before she would truly acquire her long-lasting taste for the stuff.
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Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Hank vs the World part , Hank vs Xeon

Tass: Heading down the main road past the Arena, Hank would have the blue-skinned accountant following him along the way, looking somewhat lost while he headed towards the palace of Acheron. Once there, two guards who were clad from head to toe in black armor would stop him from entering. "None may enter save on official business," one of them said, its voice muffled through the helmet and its face hidden, making its gender unclear.

MAF: "Does this look official to you?" Hank inquired, thrusting the amulet he had in front of the guard.

Tass: The guard who had spoken briefly examined the amulet, and then simply turned towards the entrance and walked inside, "come with me."

MAF: "Uh-huh." Hank replied lazily, grinning as he turned back at Smurf. "Come with me," he mimicked the guard, before he turned towards the entrance and walked inside, following the guard.

Tass: The blue skinned woman would glance aside at the other guard worriedly. "I, uhhh, think I'd rather stay out here," she replied to Hank's mocking, to which the guards offered no reaction. Should he continue following the guard, Hank would be led through a grand hall, the whole building constructed out of finely worked marble and this chamber guarded by more figures clad in black armor. That guard would change dramatically when Hank was led through a set of double doors at the end of the hall. Once through there, a more comfortable furnished and small hall with a soft plush carpet would be found, and there Hank would find not guards, but incredibly beautiful women clad in maid outfits, all of them sporting some unusual feature or another to mark them as not human.
Tass: Three were present in the next long hall, and towards one of them the knight leading Hank would go, stopping and speaking in low voices in a language that Hank couldn't understand but had heard before spoken in Acheron. The maid, tall and willowy but with an impressive bust that her outfit strained to contain, and sporting long blond hair and a pair of curving ram's horns cast in dark red, would turn to Hank after their brief conversation, curtsy, and say; "If you will come with me sir, I will take you to see the Queen of Acheron."

MAF: "Whatever." Hank shrugged, walking inside. Following the guard, he didn't say much. He didn't care to say much either. Someone who stood around all day likely wouldn't be much fun in conversation. But when the double doors cleared, Hank would be struck dumbfounded. Maids. Sexy maids, many with nice, big titties and full, round asses. Hank developed a wide grin from ear to ear. This would be a nice place, if he owned it. He wanted to own it. He didn't care if he didn't deserve it. He wanted it. Seeing the blond woman courtesy, he looked at her after eying up the maids. "I will fuck every woman in this place one day." he replied to the maid. "Lead the way."

Tass: "Of course sir," the maid said lightly, and then turned with a swish of her short frilly skirt and led Hank through yet more hallways, taking a turn here and another turn there, and passing many more maids along the way. After a short walk he found himself led to a door, which the maid opened and then turned to him to say; "Wait here please sir." She would, unless Hank protested strongly, turn and close the door behind her, but not before Hank would be able to see a couple other women inside, one of them seated while several others seemed clustered around her.

MAF: Nevermind. Fuck this place. Too complicated. All the twists and turns gave him a quick headache, one he could do without. He liked his mansion, actually. It was well organized. There was a room for everything. The center room was for relaxing and receiving oral with food. The kitchen was for someone else, the party room was for parties and orgies, and every other room was for sex. Even the staircase. It was beautiful in it's simplicity. Thankfully though, they came to a doorway, and he was asked to wait outside. "Uh-huh." he grunted, sighing as he peeked a bit, seeing more women inside. "Still... Despite the maze, this place is titty heaven. Do good boys go to a place like this when they die? No wonder there's so many pussies in the world... They knew what I didn't."

Tass: Hank would be left out, the maid offering no comment on his words if he said them in her presence, for only about a few minutes before the blond woman opened the door again. "Come right in please sir," she said, and should Hank comply he would find himself in a small study. Before him sat a woman of astounding beauty clad in a simplistic black dress, black horns erupting from her temples and curling back over her shiny black hair as it was worked into an elegant bun. She gazed at him calmly, obviously appraising him, and even though he had no magical or spiritual power whatsoever Hank would be able to feel the immense power radiating off of the woman, even looking at her while in the same room akin to staring directly at the sun and being dipped in boiling water at the same time. In the back, a line of four maids stood against the wall with their hands clasped before them and their eyes downcast and closed, awaiting their mistress's orders.
Tass: The maid that had led him in closed the door behind Hank and took her position with the other maids, and for a long moment the Queen of Acheron stared at Hank in silence before, in a calm, regal tone she said; "I was told that you had found something, an amulet. Is this true?"

MAF: Walking into the room... What an amazing presence. Hank never shied away nor showed intimidation in the slightest upon seeing her. Despite how small he felt in comparison to this amazing force, he felt nothing but awe and quickly boiling bloodlust flow through his veins. Whatever appraisal she'd get would be very accurate. A foul, evil, lecherous man. Despite how clearly it may have been that she could swallow him up in darkness and suffering, Hank stood unwavering, staring back at her with a wide, wicked grin, and eyes that lusted for her.
MAF: A man that lived by some warped code of honor surrounding sex and murder, all too clear given his time with the elf, who failed to kill him. That was a great insult to him. A massive spit in the face. Though, in the presence of this woman, he wouldn't mind being murdered by such a pretty lady. "It means nothin' to me." Hank replied. "Found it in an abandoned building while killin' goblins and taking their girls under my wing. Take it." he declared, putting it on the closest table unless he was stopped, or directly to the woman, again, unless he was stopped.
MAF: "If'n you were gonna give me payment... Well, I would have taken it at first, but getting an eye full of you satisfied me enough."

Tass: "Indeed," the woman said, and no sooner had Hank placed the amulet on the table than it whisked off, pulled by invisible force directly into the demon queen's grasp. She sat examining it for a moment while Hank spoke further, her expression unreadable. "Well then... If you won't take payment for the amulet itself, what about for the exact address and location where you found the amulet? In detail, if you please. I will give you four hundred in whatever currency you would prefer," she said after a moment, looking back at Hank while playing with the amulet clenched in her fingers.

MAF: Hank would tell the address without much hesitation, not seeming too phased that the amulet flew into the woman's hand. "Give me whatever you want. I'll consider it a gift." Hank chuckled. "It's not often I see a fine woman as unique as you. Xeon, right? I'll remember that name. And I never remember names." Hank declared. "But, I digress. Lookin' at you has excited me to no end, and I need that urge taken care of. I'd love to have you on this table, but I've enough sense to know when pussy's out of my league." He stated, before turning, and heading for the door.
MAF: He picked his large gun up over his shoulders, "Me and Destiny will be on our way."
MAF: He also states where he found the amulet

Tass: "Indeed... Yes, my name is Xeon, though most refer to me by my title," Xeon said, and upon Hank turning around he would feel five lesser but still impressive presences bristle with indignation. Some exchange occurred then, practically in the blink of an eye, before Xeon said; "Matilda, take this man outside and pay him." The blond maid would then lead him out, a frown upon her face, before Hank would again find himself outside, facing the blue-skinned woman that refused to have sex with him. "Huh.... I thought you'd be coming out in a body bag or not at all. Surprising," she said casually, and shamelessly.

MAF: "He, he, he, it's funny you said that, smurf." Hank replied to the blue skinned girl. "That's what I thought too."

Tass: "Why do you keep calling me "smurf?" What in the Hell is a smurf?"

MAF: "I keep callin' you smurf cuz that's what I call ya. You ain't satisfied?" he asked.
MAF: "Too bad."

Tass: "Whatever. What now?"

MAF: "We're done here. Go home, my blood's boilin', so I'm gonna find out what I can kill." he said, walking down the steps, not waiting to be paid if he wasn't already, he'd start with the usual place, seeing what Peggy or the angel had to offer.

Tass: Hank had already been paid, and upon going back to the office would find the witch - now sans her hat - sitting behind the desk again. "What can I do you for, sweetie?" she asked brightly, leaning back with her arms behind her head.

MAF: "Need a dirty job." Hank replied, his eyes looking anywhere but her, not wanting to acknowledge her attractiveness.
MAF: "Gotta be somebody that needs some killin'."

Tass: "Dirty like naked and covered in oil, or dirty like - ahhh, you want to shoot someone with your popgun~ Well, the popgun that's only attached to you metaphorically. Well, we do have something lined up for that! A bandit is holed up in North-Eastern Acheron, not far from that building that you cleared yesterday. Find 'em, kill 'em, take their stuff, show proof in the form of the leader's blue sash, and you get paid on top of being able to kill someone!"

MAF: Hank was about to turn, and let that be that, before he remembered a mistake he made before. "... Map." he demanded.
MAF: "Or address if'n this shitty city ain't got one of those yet."

Tass: The witch gestured at the map on the wall, "Blue marker. Have fun sweetie~ Don't let that leader get too close either!" From the map, Hank would have a vague idea of where it was in relation to what he knew of Acheron, and would also have its address.
Tass: Or at least, the address of where the group was last seen, giving him a general area to search.

MAF: "Why? What's he do?" Hank inquired. Wouldn't hurt to know his prey.

Tass: "It's a she... And she happens to be half vampire, and a succubus. And before your erection breaks through the ceiling, she also has a habit of enthralling anyone she gets her hands on. All of her servants are her thralls, whom she feeds on until they die."

MAF: "Hehehe...!" Hank grinned at her announcement. Despite her announcement, his intentions didn't change. "Hahahahahaha! My kind of woman. The servant's blood will be mine, and so will her body. I'll tame her." he declared, before marching out of the building, heading straight for the location marked on the map to search about. The building marked would be a good start. It's door would be kicked in. Hank would charge recklessly, slaying any fool in his way. Hopefully the woman in question would survive, or be in the back. He needed her alive.

Tass: "Welp, was nice knowin yah!" the witched shouted at his back, and then Hank would be off with his usual maniacal grin down the streets, Destiny at the ready. The door of the building would be kicked in only to find the dilapidated one story flower shop empty.

MAF: "Shit! That was the end of my plan!" Hank cursed.
MAF: Hank growled, and looked about. He had to find this woman. Wait, blue sash? "You seen a woman wit a blue sash 'round here?" he'd ask random people.
MAF: "You see, I want to savagely fuck her. Help a man out."

Tass: There were no random people to ask, as this was in the still-abandoned portion of Acheron.

MAF: There goes another plan! "Alright, Hank's angry." Hank declared, before randomly firing his large cannon at a random building, randomly.

Tass: The building would, unsatisfyingly, not crumble when shot at with Destiny, the shot only producing a large hole in the wall.

MAF: Hank would reload his cannon, before aiming it at another building. "How 'bout this one? YOU IN THERE, WOMAN!?"
MAF: If no answer, he'd fire.
Tass: Another shot, with the same result. Apparently shooting at random buildings might not produce effective results, as he only had a couple of the heavy shots left.

MAF: "Shut up, voice in my head." Hank snapped at the advice he was given. "But, you may have a point, brain. Guess I'll use my boot to bust open doors until I find the right one." he'd say to himself, before going around, smashing doors open, and calling out. "Hey! Sash! That's what I'm gonna call you, cuz of yer blue sash! Come out here! I wanna fuck you!" he declared, before smashing more doors open. "Get yer fine ass out here!"

Tass: Around Hank would go, smashing in doors or glancing into buildings, until he came upon something that stopped him after about half an hour. A figure crouched in one of the abandoned buildings, a shadowy figure that hissed at him and then caused the area around the doorway into the abandoned bakery to suddenly go pitch black, leaving Hank blinded completely.

MAF: "Hi." Hank declared, before the area went black. "Hmm. That kind of pisses me off." Hank said, before quickly back pedaling away, firing a shotgun where she would be if she was chasing him.

Tass: Hank would backpedal out of the cloud of blackness, firing a shotgun to another loud hiss, but the figure wouldn't follow them any further than that.

MAF: "Hey, make that dark shit go away. I ain't after yer blood." Hank would state. "I want you, personally."

Tass: No response would be forthcoming, and Hank would recall seeing no blue sash on the entirely inhuman figure he had found.

MAF: "Hrm, seemed like a vampire to me. Not even comin' out into the day light." he thought. Looking at the building, he wondered if he could blow apart a side of it so he could get a clear look inside while in the safety of light, and see whatever was inside hiding in the shade.

Tass: The thing would no longer be present in the building when he went around, the cloud of darkness vanishing, but he would find a small trail of blood leading away down the street into another abandoned building.

MAF: "Follow the leader." Hank hummed, following the blood trail before busting down the next door, losing his patience and firing at whatever was in front of him.


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Isolda flashback 1, continued some more.

She wouldn't be taking her first full sample that day either, however. Her slow, shallow bobs would continue for the next few moments, occasionally interrupted so that she could give his shaft another lick, but the more tense Ulfring became, the more aroused Isolda herself became. The hand on his shaft would begin to give it an occasional stroke when she pulled back, but the other would slide between her legs without any input from her conscious mind, quick to begin rubbing against her petals through her clothes. It would be another several moments before she actually noticed the pleasure that she was causing herself, but when she did she would stop her motions entirely. She would hang there for a moment, looking up into Ulfring's increasingly frustrated face, before suddenly making a full descent on her mentor's cock. Her throat squeezed automatically as it attempted to expel the thick, hard object that had invaded it, but she had far less trouble relaxing her gag reflex this time as she started another round of slow, deep bobs. She could feel Ulfring start to throb once again, his body tensing as he prepared finally to find his release... Only to let out another frustrated groan as Isolda popped one last time off of his manhood, leaving it again glistening with her saliva.

"I should check the stew," she said in a voice that was half nonchalant statement and half lustful purr, and then smoothly stood up and turned to walk back over to the burning hearth, her already lifted top being casually pulled off completely and tossed then aside.


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Angelle's DG4 Sheet, tried to make it via the same rules as Termite's original sheet RE: colors.

Changes from DG4 include the splitting up of the Resistance stats, Dodge to d10s, the addition of attack stats as d10s, the change of the Spirit Wielder class bonus from a Talent to more Aptitudes, changes in Psyker that aren't yet done, the change of Psyker from a Talent to a Template, and a few minor changes in various things. I deleted the power descriptions just because I never use them on people's sheets as a general rule, and this is technically an NPC sheet so meh. The number of aptitudes she got went up, and you can suggest changes to those if you think she should have different ones from the one that I picked. I don't think there were any important racial changes, but if there are then I'm just not including them because I'm lazy.

Name: Angelle "Dizzy" Alistar
Race: Confusing...
Class: Spirit Wielder
Sex: Female

Body: 20 10 + 10
Mind: 18 10 + 8
Spirit: 42 30 + 12

HP: 50 20 + 18/2 + 42/2
PP: 49 20/2 + 18 + 42/2
EP: 61 20/2 + 18/2 + 42
Speed: 30 25 + 20/20
Dodge: 9d10 + 5 (+2d10 from Duelist) Dice = 20/10 + 18/10 + 42/10 + 2 = 9, Remainder = 8/2 + 2/2 = 5
Armor: 7 2 + 5
Perception: 20 Sqrt(42*10) = 20.49
Stealth: 6 Sqrt(20*10) = 14.14 - 8
Grapple: 20 20
Spirit Ceiling: 13 61/5 + 1 = 13.2

Reflexes = 15 20/3 + 42/5
Focus = 14 18/3 + 42/5
Willpower = 21 42/2

Defensive Bonuses
Tumble Mod = 0
Bull Rush Mod = 0
Overrun Mod = 0
5 resistance to cold/elect/force damage from Demon and Faerie
25 resistance to fire damage from Demon + Dragonblooded
Resist +4 vs Charm/Dominated/Paralyzed/Stunned/Weakened

TALENTS 5/5 + 2
[R] Dragonfire Adept Grants 2 + Spirit/20 Dragonfire Powers (2 + 42/20 = 4.1)
[R] Pain Resistant AV +5
Holy Mage Grants 2 + Spirit/20 Holy Magic Powers (2 + 42/20 = 4.1)
Demonologist Grants 2 + Spirit/20 Demonologist Powers (2 + 42/20 = 4.1)
Spirit Warior Grants 2 + Spirit/20 Spirit Warrior Powers (2 + 42/20 = 4.1)
Skilled Wielder Gains 2 Wielder Aptitudes, Spirit Ceiling +1
Natural Warrior: Duelist Dodge +2d10 and weapon damage +2 when using a single one-handed weapon
Succubus Magic Gain 3 Succubus Powers
Side Skill Gain 1 Skill

[R] Obvious Stealth - 8
[R] Open Soul EP Damage Taken +5
[R] Idealistic RP: Character tries to help others whenever she can
[R] Selfish RP: Character thinks only of herself
[R] Sensitive PP Damage Taken +5
[R] Fetish (Crossbreed) PP Damage Taken +8 when engaged with any creature of mixed heritage
Mutated 6 Gain 6 Mutations

[R] Odd Skin (Scales for the tail and around lower back)
[R] Greater Wings (Feathered - one white/one black) Can fly at Speed
[R] Tail (Lizard tail) Can be used for Foreplay/Penetration
[R] Whip Tongue PP Damage Dealt +2 when giving oral
Whip Tongue PP Damage Dealt +2 when giving oral (+4 Total)
Tight (x2) PP Damage Dealt +2 when being Penetrated (+4)
Soft-Skin (x2) PP Damage Dealt +2 during non-oral Foreplay (+4)
Multi-Orgasmic After orgasm PP resets to 1/2 max

[R] Demon Ignore 5 Damage from Fire/Force
[R] Dragonblooded Ignore 20 Damage from fire, AV +2, Resist +4 vs Charm/Dominated/Paralyzed/Stunned/Weakened
[R] Faerie Ignore 5 Damage from Cold/Electricity
[R] Naturally Supernatural Immune to Corruption, deals 1/2 Corruption to others
[R] Selective Fertility Can apply Fertile/Infertile Flaws at will

Weapon Attack: 4d10 20/5
Defensive Stance Gives up standard action but gain 2d10 bonus to Dodge, get a free attack with a -1d10 penalty to hit on any creature that attacks them in melee and misses.

Power Attack: 8d10 + 2 42/5
Dragonfire Adept
Black Dragon
Dragon's Breath
Dragon's Pride
Holy Magic
Holy Fire
Holy Wall
Lay on Hands
Devil’s Lightning
Form of the Swarm
Gorgon’s Gaze
Vampiric Futanari
Spirit Warrior
Battle Aura
Energy Blade
Energy Blast
Energy Wave

WIELDER APTITUDES 1 + Spirit/20 (Round down) + 2 = 1 + 42/10 (2) + 2 = 5
Harmful Spirit
For any damage dealing or weapon powers used by the character, if any of the damage dice they roll come up as less than half of their max, they are set to half the max instead. In addition, the character may pay X/2 EP in order to ensure that they deal max damage on all damage dice on any attack, where X is the X EP input of the power.
Master Blaster
The character is a master of the destructive aspects of their abilities. Spirit Powers that deal damage are treated as if they had put an additional 3 points of EP into their activation. This bonus may be traded in order to force any creatures struck to make a Resistance check against a DC equal to 4 times the EP input (usually X in the Power's description) or gain one of the followings statuses: Blinded, Paralyzed, Stunned, or Weakened. The player chooses which status effect to inflict when they make the attack.
Burning Spirit
The character's soul is dangerous to those attempting to take it. Any creatures that drain the character's EP against their will take an amount of damage equal to the EP drained. Damage caused by this aptitude ignores all AV and DR, and causes double damage to creatures that don't have an HP stat. In addition, damage dealing powers cause an additional 2 points of damage per point of X EP input.
Efficient Wielder
Spirit Power buffs activated by the character cost 3 less EP (minimum 0) to upkeep. This reduced upkeep may be traded in order to increase the bonus granted to any one stat by an active power by X. This aptitude may be taken up to 3 times.
Potent Spirit
Spirit Powers used by the character that require that their target make a Resistance check gain a +8 bonus to their effective Resistance or DC. In addition, they may spend up to 5 additional EP when using a power, increasing this bonus by 3 for each additional EP spent.

The character pays 5 EP and chooses one target creature within 30 feet of them, and one version of this ability.
1) The targeted creature must win a Willpower check against the character or gain the Charmed status. If this ability is used in a grapple, the character may deliver it through a kiss counted as a foreplay attack, dealing regular foreplay PP damage and giving the user a +4 bonus to their Willpower for the purpose of the check made by this ability. This ability is normally undetectable and untraceable.
2) The targeted creature must win a Willpower check against the character or gain the Horny status for 2 rounds. This version of Horny directs the creature to desire only the character using this ability, and lasts for an additional round for every 5 points by which the character beats the targeted creature. This ability is obvious, and points the target directly to the one using it even if it fails.
Apparent Innocence
(Passive) The character is less likely to be attacked by hostile creatures. If in a group, the character will usually be the last one to be attacked unless they obviously display that they're the thread. If alone, creatures will not (usually) attempt to kill the character, and will instead attempt either to knock the character out or rape them. This has no effect on non-intelligent creatures or on PCs, and characters that display plainly that they are a threat will be treated as such. In addition, the character gains a +5 Resistance bonus when attempting to Charm a target.

Unarmed: (+20) {2d4 + 5} [Blunt]
Clothes: AV = 0, EV = 0, TP = 25, DU = 2
[50] Denarii


Backstory stuff for Alex's family
Eldest brother = Akorvick.
Akorvick, her brother and the eldest of Aureus' children, hissed sibilantly in response to Alexandra's attempt at a respectful reception. He was the largest of them by far, standing at well over seven feet tall, and he had inherited the dark green scales of their father in full, leaving him almost black in the shade of the trees under which they'd encountered her. Muscle corded and stretched visibly beneath those armored scales, which covered most of Akorvick's heavy body, and he alone among the three of them had learned to fly under his own power so far, the massive draconic wings spreading from his back powerful enough to blow lesser men from their feet. He was also a bully, fully possessed of the arrogance that some attributed to their race, though none had ever called him as much to his face, and he glared at Alex with an eagerness and a hunger for violence that signaled that she ought to be careful, lest she give him an excuse.
Middle sister = Annabeth.
Her sister was of a build with their mother, but decidedly more feminine, and while her physical might was what one would expect from one of their lineage, she preferred to employ strategies similar to their father, being a quick and spontaneous fighter rather than the ponderous brute that their brother opted to be. Though her wings were larger, like those of her brother and father, she hadn't yet learned to fly with them, but her spiked tail and coating of brilliant emerald scales more than made up for this deficiency. She was also a talented mage, and had been growing her skills under the tutelage of a sorcerer from Crolia, one of their father's many debtors. There had been times when her sister had opted to test her newfound powers on Alex, particularly when she discovered a particularly painful or intriguing spell, and these instances had been growing more common of late.

The ring that Alex gave to Aescila:
Mechanics: EP=30 (nothing else)
Appearance: Twin bands of gold and silver running side by side that start to mingle as they approach the setting for the dark amethyst.
Last edited:


Panda King
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Nov 10, 2008
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Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Character Concepts
Half finished or finished character ideas for various settings. Usually won't have stats.

Su-ku-ta from Arlos who wishes to escape from her life as basically a slave. Runs away just before a trial of proving would have allowed one of the male wolfir of her tribe to claim her as a concubine.
Now has a sheet!

Vampire knight, either naga or human as a base, who alternates between duelist and double weapons. Must go for MAXIMUM SARCASM. Original soul and parasitic soul still at odds, leaving them with nightmares and occasional drastic personality shifts. Parasitic soul is seeking vengeance for being super murdered by a four fingered bandit. Original soul was unfortunate enough to be nearby during a confluence of magical energies that bound them together.

Cadren the Paladin, knight I made a while ago and then lost the backstory for. Just got it back from Taki.
Wealth. Power. Indulgence. Respect. Growing up, Cadren Segroves had had it all. Born into a powerful and respected Elynsorian noble house as the heir apparent, he had been given every privilege that a man could ask for and then some. His parents paid for the most expensive schooling possible, hiring the best tutors and trainers available short of those in the royal household itself. His father wanted only the best for his firstborn son, the boy who would grow into a man and continue the empire that he had inherited from his father before him, and to his delight his grand spending seemingly bore valuable fruit.

Cadren was an intelligent, quizzical young boy growing up, and took to every aspect of his teaching passionately and often succeeded as if by natural talent alone. By the age of eight he could read and write, knew a step beyond the basics of mathematics and philosophy, was well versed in the teachings of the Church of Erion, and had mastered the basics of swordsmanship, horseback riding, and archery. It was the last that he proved most adept at in youth, even if to many nobles the use of the bow was looked down upon in favor of the sword. As he grew into adulthood, however, he grew increasingly focused upon the more direct means of martial prowess, and by the time he had grown into a young man of sixteen Cadren was an expert swordsman and a near prodigy with the lance from horseback and the halberd. Trained in the Allied discipline of swordsmanship that focused on the added defense of a shield, Cadren was a potentially deadly combatant and only in his teenage years, and soon enough entered into a tourney to prove it.

Though he was skilled in his own right and performed extremely well for one so young and inexperienced, Cadren was eventually bested by more seasoned fighters. That defeat merely spurred him on further, however, and just after he had reached his twenty second year he entered another grand tournament and won, claiming the second place prize for swordsmanship and the third for the joust. The next year he won first place in both, and was officially given honors for his prowess by the royal family themselves.

His martial studies might have dominated much of his life, but Cadren had not let his more mental disciplines fall completely to the wayside as he grew to adulthood either, learning all of the skills needed for the running of a noble house from his father and his tutors. In faith he was outspoken and enthusiastic, leaving none to doubt his belief in the glory of Erion. Even if he focused more upon the martial arts, Cadren’s father was still immensely proud of his firstborn son, and gave the young warrior his blessing to join the Order of Saint Lisle. Why not, when he was still healthy himself and the honors that his son could collect would only improve the standing of their family?

The next two years came and went like no time at all, with Cadren earning a good deal of real combat experience to allow him to hone is extensive training. Honors and accolades were hurled at him for his performance, and his piety and righteousness were never doubted by any of his peers as he proved his worth on the field of battle. All of his honors, all of his respect, was at least in his mind fully earned not only by the bloodline from which he stemmed but the deeds that he had performed.

And that was the first of two lies that destroyed him. It was a lie that many had believed, one that had started early as he had studied the ways of Erion and found the teachings prudish and boring. He had learned to get around them, however, and through his young life and onward a part of him that was hidden from his family flourished. That part was.... Sin. It started small, but as he grew into a man Cadren's hungers expanded. Alcohol, gambling, drugs, women..... Cadren sank deep into depravity far from his father's eyes, but his station and his careful restraint in public kept him free from the consequences that such evils should have brought upon him. Though he opined piety, Cadren's heart was filled with thoughtless sin and cruelty, possessed by the pleasures that a rich life had to offer and unwilling to tolerate any obstacle that might keep him from enjoying them. Only one person who could be called close to him ever found out about his evils, his younger brother Telvan, and that was through sheer accident when he stumbled upon his elder brother coming home late one night, reeking of smoke and booze and a courtesan's cheep perfume. To find the man he had grown up respecting in such a state was at once horrifying and intimidating, but even though he was forced to swear to secrecy by a drunken Cadren it was an event that would come to change the lives of both men, albeit not until several years later.

The second lie was born of the first, when Cadren fathered a child on a woman he'd bedded. She came to him, demanding that he take responsibility, but he refused her even the slightest recognition upon first encountering her again, and worked to have her and their child's very existence the very next day. Before he could make good on his foul plans, however, Cadren was called to battle by his Order and went forth to do so, trying to put the worries of his home situation aside to concentrate on the battle to come.
He, along with some others, were sent to put down an insurrection by a small group of peasants who had turned to banditry, or at least that was what they were told. Unknown to them, however, it was a cult that they were sent to eliminate. A cult dedicated to the worship of beings from the Void. The group of warriors rushed into their hideout, located deep within the woods, and began to slaughter the small group only for them to complete a ritual just as they stormed in. A tear in the fabric of the world seemingly opened before them, and through it stalked a creature worse than any nightmare that Cadren had ever faced. Stunned by horror, the first few warriors were slaughtered like helpless pigs, and when the sight of their dead comrades spurred the rest to defend themselves or flee Cadren was among the former group. It was all for naught, however, as no steel seemed able to pierce the monster's hide. Cadren was one of the last alive when a swipe of the monster's claw tore through his helm, through the flesh of his face, and left a cut that seared all the way to the bone and very nearly cost him an eye.

Fallen to a monster that he had never believed could exist, Cadren expected to be torn apart by the abomination, but Erion had seemingly had a different fate in store for him. A trio of knights entered the small farmhouse, stormed into it while shrouded in a white glow that was brighter than the sun and seemingly caused the monster to shrink before them. They fell upon it with maddened fervor akin to the glee with which the abomination had slaughtered Cadren's fellows, and when the beast and its summoners were destroyed one of them knelt over Cadren as blood loss threatened him with unconsciousness. A spiritual light fell over him, causing his wounds to heal and seemingly banishing the blackness that had so long held a hold over his heart, leaving him full of an ecstasy unlike anything that he had ever experienced.

When he awakened, Cadren found himself in a hospital with a bandage over the side of his face, the claw having left a scar from his hairline down to his lip over one eye that thankfully hadn't been as deep as he had originally thought. For two days he had slept, nightmares his only distraction, and for five days more the local healers kept him before he and what little was left of his contingent returned home only for the newly humbled Cadren to find a new problem waiting for him.

The woman he had impregnated had gone to his home, had met his brother first, and unfortunately for Cadren, Telvan was more clever than he had thought. Servants who had kept stories of Cadren's cruelty secret, associates and teachers who had known of his vile ways but kept their silence for fear of repercussions from him, and strangers who had recognized him on his nights of sin.... Cadren's brother had compiled enough that he could finally confront their father with enough that no amount of favoritism would allow him to ignore it. The old man, his health having been failing already, was devastated. He lapsed into illness and, after two days of deliberation, named Telvan his heir instead of Cadren and then retired completely from public life.

The fallen knight returned home to find his property, his title, his future, and his honor all stripped from him completely. His order had found out about his disgraceful actions, but as they deliberated Cadren knew what he had to do. The encounter with the voidic monster and the knights who had slain it had left him changed, had left him broken, and even the thought of returning to his old ways had left him physically sickened. Nightmares of the unstoppable monster had come to him every night, and by the time he returned home Cadren was very much a broken man. Acknowledging his disgrace, the maddened warrior did the only thing that he believed he could do – he disowned himself from his family and resigned from his position, renouncing all the honors that he had been gifted before his sudden and catastrophic fall.

For Telvan, it was a surprising gift. The younger brother, having grown up in the shadow of Cadren, had come to hate him, and had expected him to fight for his position. That he simply surrendered, departing without any sort of fuss, was like a gift from Erion to the ambitious young noble, and with the household almost solely behind him there was no need to cause further harm to his brother.

Cadren, after departing from his former home with next to nothing, left him to drown his horrors in alcohol only to find himself penniless and without friends to call upon for aid. Left to live in the streets, the formerly handsome man was forced to resort to begging, and for a time he barely survived on the streets of Elynsor city. That is until one day, injured in a scuffle over a bare mouthful of food by another beggar, an opponent that he would have laughed at in his prime, he came upon a temple to Erion. The clergy were out, offering Erion's blessings and healing the injured and the sick, and for the second time he felt himself suffused with that strength ecstasy. This time, however, Cadren understood.

He understood what he must do. His sinful ways had been the cause of all his ills, the voidic monster that had been the tipping point merely a symptom of his evils, and there was one thing that had left him healed, left him feeling whole again. Erion. His false piety was gone, replaced by true fervor, and for the first time in his life Cadren found himself truly fulfilled, a hole that his debauchery had never even touched filled by Erion's light. Though he was only a beggar, he did all the he could to help the Church, working, aiding others, and preaching with more earnest faith than many believers. His faith left his hunger lessened, his discomforts easy to ignore, and for some time he lived like that before being invited to join the clergy.

It was an opportunity that the former nobleman jumped at not for the benefits that it would bring him, but for the aid that he might be able to give to others. That was not to be his fate, however, for Erion's will brought another servant to meet him and give him an opportunity to do something even greater with his dormant martial talents. The knight who had saved him, who had slain the voidic beast and healed him enough that his life was spared, came upon him with an opportunity, a calling. Warriors were needed, ones who were truly loyal to Erion, and while most were inducted much earlier in life Cadren's newfound fervor was enough to at least give him a chance for redemption.

And so, Cadren joined the Order of Saint Thrail. His passion for learning was resurrected as the key tool of members of that order were taught to him, the power to call upon Erion's grace against the beasts from the void. After three more years, with his martial prowess resharpened and cosmic magic at his beck and call, Cadren, called Sir Cadren the Scarred, set forth once more, now to fight the enemies of Erion with the unrelenting fervor of a true zealot. Still only twenty seven, Cadren nonetheless swore off all of the impurities he had enjoyed in his former life, but that wasn't the only aspect of him that had changed. Remembering the ill thoughts and selfishness that he had lived with, Cadren sought to live a life of charity and selflessness to make up for his sins, living by all of the tenets of Erion's teachings not for his own gain, but to serve as an example to others who had strayed from the path.

Aure'lie Cartier, a simple Brevnian farm girl
Second daughter of a milk farmer in Brevnia, has a younger brother named Marius and an older sister named Emelie, both parents are MIRACULOUSLY STILL ALIVE! Mom (Henriette Ouvrard) skipped out though, having left the family after the life of a dairy farmer didn't suit her all that well coming from being the daughter of a somewhat more well-off merchant. Mom's dad (Wilfrid Ouvrard) and Aure'lie's dad (Remi) weren't happy about this turn of events, and for a couple years pops just sort of drank and mismanaged things until Aure'lie and her older sister took on more responsibility.

Bigsis Emelie eventually got tired of dad's shit and such too though, and took off to start a life of ADVENTURE. This left Aure'lie to basically manage everything, do most of the work as best she could with herself, her brother, a couple of hired hands and dad whenever he can be bothered to do work. Mom's side of the family rarely talks to them, and dad's parents are dead with no other children from famine.

At this point Aure'lie is a young adult, sort of stuck in a role of responsibility despite her somewhat carefree nature. Has a bit of a temper and likes to take risks, not the sort of person to say "do it you won't" to unless you want to actually see them try it. Also rarely against a roll in the hay if she can get away with it and probably not as knowledgeable about sex as is healthy for a young woman in the prime of youth. Also tries to not bang the farm hands generally, to possibly mixed success. Has never been with a girl or even thought about such, thanks traditional upbringing, but would probably be into that. Takes her responsibilities very seriously, and knows that eventually she'll be married off and her younger brother will inherit the farm even though he's got little experience taking charge to fall back on since she's basically does everything.

Is probably bandit bait, is also probably severely closet depressed.

Milf-esque demon hunter ninja who has been at her career for a while. Finally thinking about settling down and retiring, just got engaged. Some lame job that doesn't require much attention by day, like a librarian or something. Has been captured and briefly used as a brood sow by demons before, totes doesn't ever have regular wild wet dreams about it that turn her on way more than husband-to-be. Totes won't get captured and raped again if she ever sees play, and made to NTR captured hubby or somesuch by ahegaoing super hard.

For Pathfinder: Monk/Rogue/Fighter multi-class who pretends to be a wizard. Uses umd to cast spells from wands and scrolls, then fights with a quarterstaff to beat people up when they go the classic route of "caster dies first" and rush him. Dresses in a big hat and classic blue starry robe. Irish accent. Probably won't be super optimized in practice. Wants to find out who his/her parents are, was born on a ship to a woman who left him at an orphanage shortly after. Was a street urchin, a thug, a mercenary, and then ultimately found peace at a monastery when he was left for dead by a "friend" and rescued by a monk. Came up with his gimmick after a fight against a group of bandits with a wizard in their party.
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Panda King
RP Moderator
Nov 10, 2008
Reputation score
Re: Tassadar's Assorted Odd Bits

Pretty simple, anyone can use it if they like, and it's a bit more in depth and dynamic than EGG is by default, though also requires a little more work on the GM's part. Might look to test it at some point, not sure.